Shit Blue Said

It has been well over a year since I've shared some of the ridiculousness that has escaped from Blue's mouth, so I thought it was high time I get on that. That, and she threatened me. Kidding (kind of). Here are some gems I've remembered to write down (or screenshot). (All the blue in the screenshots are me, for reference.) 

Blue: Siri, what are the lyrics to "Home on the Range?" 

Siri: I could not find the lyrics on Apple Music.

Blue: Alexa would have found the lyrics. 

Me: Surprised we got early dismissal, it's really not that bad out.
Blue: Yeah, they are making too much out of weather these days. When I was a kid we were like "Yeah, it snows in winter."
Me: Exactly! Coddlers.
Blue: Ducking coddlers. Getting a participation trophy for "surviving the winter." 

Blue: Following Funko [Pop!] on Twitter was a poor life decision.

Me: You’re not very suave.

Blue: I’ve always been more of a Pantene girl.

Me:  Thor and dr. Jones...

Blue: Why? How?

Me: Dr. Ford in news- Harrison Ford- Indiana Jones. I’m not proud 

 

Blue: I feel like I've found religion. A constant stream of "Jesus Christ's" have been coming out of my mouth throughout the work day. 

Me: Oh, that's official then? They're not together?

Blue: I believe so. She said she can't find anything she likes.

Me: Huh

Blue: In terms of it being official? I was like well they didn't get anything notarized but it sure sounded official lol

Me: No like huh, interesting

Blue: More of a hmm than a huh... to both relationship status and "not finding anything"

so maybe a hmm and a huh

Me: Hmm means I'm thinking about it, which I'm not. I'm judging silently from the sidelines.

Me: Gmorning pumpkin

Blue: Gmorning sessy squash. May the gourd open. 

One liner of the month:  "I can’t hear so I have to read your lips, and I don’t have my readers, so stand back."

All read and approved by Blue before posting.

You can find other Shit Blue Said here: Vol. 1, Vol. 2, Vol.3, Vol. 4, Vol. 5, Vol. 6, Vol. 7, Vol. 8, Vol. 9, Vol. 10

10 Things I Love About Blue

I wasn't going to post today but I couldn't help myself when I saw that my girl Leslie brought back the 10 on the 10th linkup, and this month is all about 10 Things You Love About Your Significant Other! So this was thrown together last minute, but here are 10 things I love about Blue, in no particular order! 

Intelligent
She knows a little something about everything, and a lot about other things. She can hold a conversation regardless of the topic, which is something I envy just a little bit. She also keeps up with the news and votes with knowledge. Swoon. 

Sillly/Witty/Makes Me Laugh
I've always said that my number one trait in a partner is someone who can make ma laugh. While that may not be #1 anymore, she certainly checks that box! Thi sis our first conversation the day after we met: 

Me:   The "gayest shit" you've ever done: 

Me:   This is Dani btw. It was nice to meet you last night! 
Blue:   Not bad as far as gay shit for a gay chick goes lol. The pleasure was mine :)
Blue:   I look like satan 
Me:   Lol. Is this better? 

Blue:   More chins than the Chinese phone book 

She's got a ton, and I've even written about them a few times, you can check out other Shit Blue Said here, here, and here!  

Beautiful, Inside and Out
She may not think so and is more self-deprecating than anyone I know, but I think she's beautiful. And as for inside, well, see the next one! 

Kind, Polite, Thoughtful

I've never seen her be rude to anyone and she even greets the train conductor every time, even though s/he often just grunts at us in return. She's also an awesome gift giver. She's not into stars or astrology or anything like that, but one year she got me a picture of the night sky on the date and location we met. It was the sweetest!  It's not always about big things though. Sometimes it's just having chocolate on hand when it's that time of the month. A little goes a long way! 

Hard Worker and Cheerleader

She's got a few years on me in terms of job experience, but she's always working hard and looking for opportunities to do more or be better. She even left a comfortable position for one with more work and more challenges. She also cheers me on in anything I want to accomplish, without being pushy. If I'm in training for an exam, she's offering to help me study and cheering me on telling me I got this. And she's there with flowers and pizza at the finish line!

Cooks

Not only is this a good life skill to have, but she's also really good at it and likes to do it! Works great for me because I don't like to do it... I'm great at doing dishes though! 

"Responsible" Adult

She's owned her own condo for 12+ years, regularly invests and makes donations, has a 401K, "Oh Shit" fund and vacation fund, and goes to the dentist twice a year. Those are just a few examples but basically, my girls' got her shit together, and that's VERY attractive! 

Jives With My People

I didn't realize how important this was until I dated someone who didn't have any interest in getting to know, let alone hang out with, my friends and family. Blue traveled to Puerto Rico with me to meet my best friend and godson, and we regularly hang out with my friends. (Sidenote: I get along with her friends too, and now call them my friends!) 

Good Listener

She'll listen to my rants, she'll listen to my wishes or dreams, she'll listen to my grocery listif I asked her to lol. And she actively listens, asking me pertinent questions in between, and she remembers! (Also helpful since I forget so much that I've earned the nickname Dory!) She also listens to my non-verbal cues, which is helpful since when I'm uncomfortable or distraught, I tend to ostrich, and she doesn't push me. 

She's a Good Partner

She keeps her word. She'll watch silly rom-coms with me on the couch or go to a show, and we have fun and genuinely enjoy each other's company regardless of what we're doing. That's a true gift :)

Happy Valentine's Day! 

How do you celebrate?

Happy Birthday Blue!

Happy Monday loves! I'm currently in Asbury Park enjoying my first beach day of the year with some friends, but I couldn't pass up the chance to wish Blue a very happy birthday! (Actually it was yesterday, but I don't post on weekends.) 

I asked what kind of post she wanted, and she decided she wanted to answer some of Vogue's 73 Questions that's been going around. So this is a bit of an introduction of my favorite person! *I didn't edit any of this besides the order of the questions (some of the pics were too close together lol) and adding 2 captions. All pics have been approved as well.*


46 Questions

1. What's the best thing that happened to you this month?
Our annual camping trip with good friends, seeing John Mayer and spending my Birthday in Asbury Park.

2. What's your favorite game? Yahtzee

3. When are you most inspired? Musically, when I see a really great live performance. Professionally, when I see light start to shine through the cracks of an obstacle or concern.

4. What's your favorite beverage? Iced Tea. Or Whiskey. Or iced tea with whiskey.

5. If you could teach one subject in school, what would it be? Current events.

6. Window or aisle seat? Aisle

7. What is your favorite birthday cake? I love vanilla funfetti cake! 

8. What is one thing you still have from your childhood? 
I have a journal a high school English teacher had us keep for a year. It’s amazing how little I knew about how the world worked back then. 

9. What is something you're tired of? Millennials.

10. What is your favorite movie? From a nostalgia perspective, Star Wars. But the Shawshank Redemption is perfection

11.What is something you can't do? Um, get Dani pregnant???

12. What is something you will not be doing in ten years? Dealing with my monthly  

13. How do you start your day? Shower. Feed cat. Coffee. More Coffee. #allthecoffee

14. Would you ever live anywhere besides where you do now? Maybe? I’m kinda a creature of habit. I’d need four seasons.

15. What is your spirit animal? Sloth

16. What is your favorite dessert? Ice cream

17. Is there a dessert you don't like? Have you met me? (She really, really loves desserts. Like carbs, she hasn't met one she doesn't like as far as I know)

18. What is an important life lesson for someone to learn? Perfection is the enemy of good

19. It's brunch! What do you eat? More breakfasty than lunchy. 

20. Favorite Disney animal? Dory

21. Heels or flats? Flats

22. Where does one go on a perfect road trip? Any road trip is perfect with the right company and the right music

23. What do you do on a rainy day? Embrace the excuse to laze about

baby Blue!

24. What's your favorite exercise? Hahahahahaha next

25. What was your worst subject in school? Math

26. What do you usually eat for breakfast? Hard boiled eggs

27. What do you usually eat for dinner? Chicken and veggies during the week, comfort food on the weekends

28. What does creativity mean to you? Finding a spark and nurturing it into a a flame

29. What did you want to be when you grew up when you were 12? A rock star

30. Cooking or baking? Cooking

31. What is a book you are planning on reading? I plan on eventually reading Carry On by Rainbow Rowell because I know Dani loves it

32. What did you read most recently? Just finished In the Darkness (Zoey Bentley #2) by Mike Omer 

33. Favorite solo artist? John Mayer (I questioned her on this, because BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN, but she clarified and said that she preferred The Boss with the band.)

34. Favorite baked good? Bagels

This is called "The PV" from our high school-
bagel with cream cheese and Doritos

35. What is something you wish you could be good at? Will power

36. First celebrity crush? Olivia Newton John lol

37. How do you manage stress? In an herbal way

38. Favorite color? Blue

39. What's a city you wish to visit? Seattle

40. What do you do to relax? Noodle around on guitar

41. Favorite fashion trend of all time? Flannel shirts. I get so excited when it swings back in style

42. What is your Kryptonite? Chocolate

43. How do you know if you're in love? Have you met Dani???

44. Television show you've binged on recently? Consuming a lot of True Blood

45. What are 3 words to describe living in your city? Bullet proof vest

46. Favorite band? Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band

Happy birthday Blue! 
Love you and wishing you many, many more! 

Shit Blue Said

Gmorning friends, and Happy Valentine's Day! I'm excited for tonight. Do you celebrate Valentine's Day? Blue and I are headed to dinner at our favorite little local restaurant. I made sure to make reservations last month so we wouldn't be wandering around the street of my town carrying a bottle of wine like what happened last year! And I think this is the last year we're doing presents too, which is great because my bday and Christmas are in Dec, then our anniversary in Jan, so by February we are spent (literally and figuratively). Anyway, I've decided to share some gems that I've been writing down since the last time I shared Shit Blue Said! 

Looking at dog pics...
Blue: This one looks like Brian from family guy.

Me; Brian is all white. 

Blue: So he’s Matthew McConaughey’s dog- All white, all white all white.

Watching catfish...
Blue: Where do they get these names? Safari, meet my friend Adventure-Park.

Trying a new food... 

Blue: This isn't too bad.

Me: It grows on you.
Blue: So does a fungus. 

Blue: Not to the right, not to the left, just in the center.

Blue: I need to confess something...

Me: I already don't like where this is going, but go on.

Blue: Every now and then I flip on Fox News to see what they are covering when the other networks are covering similar things. It makes me feel dirty. Like watching soft porn through the squiggly lines when I was a kid. 

Later...

Blue: Sorry if I scared you with my confession. Sometimes you just wanna know what the Fox says (pewpew pewpewpew pew)

Me: Hey it’s that girl!

Blue: Zoey?

Me: Yeah... no...

Blue: Deschanel?

Me: No, the one who played Zoe. Or Alex? ... And her dad... she’s half Indian?

Together: Rashida Jones!

Blue: I love it when we get there together. 

Watching TV...

Me: That owl looks fake.

Blue: Who?

Me: The owl. 

Blue: Who?

Me (yelling): THE OWL!!!

Blue: Hoo?

Me (realizing): ...I fell for it three times... :facepalm:

On the phone...

Me: G'morning how are you?

Blue: Good. I actually did 30 min on the elliptical. There are news trucks outside to cover the story. 

Me: This train is CROWDED! Looks like lots of people got out early today.

Blue: Yeah well they upped the accumulation in the city too! Everyone caught off guard. They are saying the road are bad on Facebook. Broadcasting live from the island of They! 

Me: Is that Rashida Jones? No not her, wait...

Blue: Yeah, it’s who you’re thinking of.

Me: Mrs. Cosby?

Blue: Yeah, Phylicia Rashad.

Me: How do I spell Felicia?

Blue: Byeeeee.

And my favorite pun-war via texts... 

You can find other Shit Blue Said here: Vol. 1, Vol. 2, Vol.3, Vol. 4, Vol. 5, Vol. 6, Vol. 7, Vol. 8, Vol. 9, Vol. 10

Shit Blue Said

Happy Friday loves! This weekend I'll be celebrating a very special occasion- it's Blue's birthday! In honor of this event, I'm sharing some of the odd and wonderful snippets of shit she's said in the last couple of months. Enjoy! 

Blue: I had a threesome with Ben and Jerry’s last week. I felt a little shame.

Me: Never feel shame.

Blue: Well I called Ben Jerry and it got a lil weird.

On the radio, Cake's "Short Skirt, Long Jacket" transitions into Thirty Seconds to Mars' "Dangerous Night"...

Blue: What?! They’re putting on this pussy ass emo shit? Fuckin millennials. It’s all their fault! Stealing jobs, stealing my joy...

On G-chat...
Me: I spilled my soup all over my pants and part of Marisa's chair just trying to open the damn can. And now I spilled water everywhere trying to wet the napkin to clean it. It looks like I sharted on this stupid chair.
Blue: You try soap or club soda or something the bloggers would say to use?
Me: No I tried water and paper napkin because that's what I had.
Blue: Bring a lil laundry dog
dog not dog
goddamn it detergent

Blue: That was the night we met [our friend] Soul! She had a big ass mustache and I was like okkkaaaaaayyyy...

Soul: I got my mustache from strangers lol.

Blue: You should probably get that checked. 

Blue: I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.
Me: I think that ship has sailed.
Blue: Nu-uh. [Our friend] Michele started a new career as a dental hygienist at 47.
Me: What was she before?
Blue: 46.


One-liner of the month: Blue: Wondering if I'll be able to get a good deal on a bulk supply of Patience on Amazon Prime Day. 

All read and approved by Blue before posting.

You can find other Shit Blue Said here: Vol. 1, Vol. 2, Vol.3, Vol. 4, Vol. 5, Vol. 6, Vol. 7, Vol. 8, Vol. 9