A Subdued Weekend

This weekend was mostly quiet. On Friday, I met up with two of my vegan friends and Blue for dinner. We were supposed to go to a vegan restaurant called Blossom after work. The evening got off to a rough start. First off, for some unknown reason, the restaurant lost power. Very odd indeed. While we were discovering this, I got a phone call. My mom is good at lots of things, however delivering bad news is certainly not one of them. As my friend was trying to figure out what was going on with the restaurant, I told my mom I was out with friends.

With no preamble whatsoever, she tells me that my great aunt had passed away earlier that day. Luckily there was an empty bench nearby. I promptly sat, trying to process what was being said, while my friend attempted to find a new suitable dining spot, and Blue looked on, unsure of what was happening. My mom then instructs me to call another relative regarding the funeral arrangements. I believe my exact reaction was "What now??!" I refused. It had just happened that day, I was not about to call anyone. I was still trying to process, and it was simply too soon. My friends decided the restaurant I was sitting in front of would work just fine, and after the call with my mom, Blue and I went in and promptly ordered two whiskey cocktails which we presumed would be like the apple pie moonshine drinks because they proclaimed having Apple Jack, yet tasted nothing like it. However, they got the job done along with some delicious fish tacos.

After recapping our PR trip and learning about our friends' upcoming trip to Mexico, we headed out to another bar at Chelsea Market for some more cocktails and (apparently) a rehashing of how my friends felt about every one of my previous relationships (not awkwardly all) (sarcasm). My friends headed home after that, and Blue took me to my second ever "gay" bars. My impression of this one was the same as my first impression- they are so much fun! Not everyone is gay, and everyone seems to be having a ridiculously good time. There's just no pretentiousness, not like one group trying to "score,"- just everyone letting loose and having a good time. 

Saturday my sickness took full hold. I was hoping the alcohol would kill the germs- I was wrong. I was a coughing, sneezing, mucousy mess. I spent the day buried under multiple blankets, tissues, Tylenol wrappers, and teabags, whilst binging on Netflix. I only moved twice, from bed to couch and back. It was perfect, and I was happy to have a much needed obligation free day. 

Yesterday was a mostly obligation free day as well. I woke up late, grabbed breakfast, napped, and then headed to my great aunt's wake. It wasn't nearly as heartbreaking as the last one. During my great Aunt Octulia's wake, there weren't just tears, but wails of despair, particularly from her sister, Dora. This was Dora's wake. There was a general feeling of... relief. Not that she was gone, but that she was no longer in pain. It was over. That may sound harsh, but I don't mean it to. It IS a relief when someone you care about, who seemed to be in so much pain, finally finds solace. It was peaceful. There were no tears, just stories. Stories of their lives; of coming over from Spain and hopping on boats at 8 years old from Spain to Cuba to escape predestined livelihoods, and then again from Cuba to the U.S., to escape an oppressive government regime. Stories I had never heard, nor could ever imagine. Stories of real people, with whom I had a real connection to. They had talked about their international vacations, but had never mentioned their plight. These were incredibly independent and strong women, and I am very proud to be able call them family. 

Friday Favorites

Guys, the post vacation blues are real. I got back late Sunday night and have been on the go since. I feel like I barely have time to breathe. Tuesday I had a midterm, Wednesday I went to visit my great aunt in the Bronx, with took twice as long because I took the wrong bus and wound up lost in Harlem. See?

Harlem.

Yesterday I had class again and now I've got a cold. Ugh. Luckily this should be a fairly lazy weekend so I can get fully back on track. But it wasn't all bad. Here are some favorites from the week!

Song: Andy Grammer - Crazy Beautiful

New Find: I mentioned here that I went to a whiskey tasting in Rochester and they had this Apple Pie Moonshine which was absolutely magical (if you're into whiskey/bourbon). Unfortunately, they only sell it locally (upstate NY). BUT, I found this Ole Smokey one in my local liquor store and IT TASTES THE SAME! This is good news for me, but very bad news for my liver. 

New Purchase:
IT FINALLY CAME!!!! My Plum Paper daily planner. I love it so hard.

Quote: 

sage advice

Celebrity: I just adore Mindy Kaling. Even more so that she is on this here cover drinking beer. 

Favorite Funnies:

How I felt coming back from vacation...

Realizing this every time I do laundry...

Alex Trebek got jokes...

The countdown is on...

The Saddest Place

**Disclaimer: this is a pretty depressing post, but it's what's going on in my life and what's in my head right now.**

I used to think that cemeteries, funeral homes, and hospitals were the saddest places in the whole world. And while I still think they're pretty depressing, my views have changed slightly.

For instance, cemeteries and funeral homes can give you a place to make your peace with the deceased, reflect, and remember and celebrate that person's life. Their personality. Your memories with them. And in a sunny day, cemeteries really aren't that bad. 

Hospitals usually make me think of sickness. The sterile environment, those stark white walls, and all those machines beeping and humming kind of creep me out and make me uncomfortable. However if you think about it, that's the place people go to get treatment. It's where they go to get well/better. It's where life is given. And when you think of it that way, it's not so terrible either. 

There are many depressing places, but the absolute saddest place in the world that I've personally experienced are hospices. Have you ever been in a hospice? They're so... Quiet. And not a peaceful, calm quiet; more like an anticipatory quiet. A stillness. A held breath. Waiting for your loved one to gasp their last breath. To pass, as comfortably as possible. 

It's a place where people go to die.

My great aunt Dora has been in a hospice for 16 days now. She was frail to begin, having had several small strokes. And then her sister/best friend/roommate Octulia got cancer and she took care of her as long as she could before finally calling in an aid. Octulia went rather quickly, but fairly painlessly. Dora was heartbroken. She had said while her sister was sick that her sole purpose for living was to take care of her. 

Four weeks later, Dora suffered another stroke, and refused treatment. She was in the hospital for 4 days before being transferred to a hospice. She doesn't eat, not even through an IV. The only fluids entering her system are sodium chloride and her regular blood pressure medicine. She gets shots of morphine to ease the pain every 6 hours and "as necessary."

I first went to visit her with my mom a few days after she was transferred. I was nervous because Dora had always been such a spitfire. Nobody bossed her around- she would just tell them where to stick it! She never took no for an answer, whether it came to taking shots with her or helping her with something. She was physically and emotionally strong and stubborn as a mule, but also had a heart of gold and always put others before herself, even when she wasn't feeling well. I was nervous about seeing her in any other state than as I knew her. 

As nervous as I was, having my mom there definitely helped. My mom is a natural caretaker. Sometimes I think she should have been a nurse or some profession similar. She somehow knows just what to say to make you feel better, and was even able to joke with her, even though Dora couldn't physically speak. You could see her trying to speak and smile. Dora was alert. She knew who we were. Her eyes opened and focused on whoever was speaking, even when we weren't speaking directly to her. She perked when we mentioned Octulia, and moaned grievously anytime anyone even mentioned the word "medicine." 

As much of a natural my mom is, I am the exact opposite. I get incredibly awkward and never know what to say, but I tried to follow my mom's lead. Dora tried to kiss back when I kissed her forehead, and grasped my hand (she certainly didn't lose her grip!) and didn't want to let go even when the nurse came  to clean her and tuck her in. 

I had a pre-planned week long vacation, and was taking off 2 days after I visited her. I thought for sure she would be gone by the time I came back, but she's still fighting. I went to visit her again last night. This time I went by myself, since my mom was still at work. Her niece was there. (She hasn't been left alone at all while she's been there; relatives, including my mom, have been tag-teaming and taking turns staying overnight, etc. so someone is there 24/7.) 

She is so much weaker. She stills holds my hand, but there's no strength left. Her eyes barely open, it's just too much for her. I honestly don't know if she knew I was there or not. But the worst part, other than looking so frail, was that she looked like she was in a lot of pain. And I couldn't do anything for her. 

I just want her to be comfortable, and at peace. So if it's your thing, could you please send some prayers this way? And if not, positive vibes are welcome as well. 

Friday Favorites

This has been one helluva long week. With a quiz on Monday, a midterm on Thursday, trying to schedule excursions for a trip that was ALMOST denied on Monday, finding out that my other aunt was in ICU and now in a nursing home, and many a sleepless night (oh hey, insomnia, nice of you to show up this week), I am SO ready for a mostly relaxing weekend. And then, vacation next week! WOOHOO! Let's kick this weekend off right with some favorites:

Song: Ed Sheeran - You Need Me, I Don't Need You

Surprise:  flowers for no reason are my favorite kind!!

Moment of the week: I don't care if this happened last week, I still love it.

News:

Katy Perry is selling the Left Shark as a onesie!
Sallie Mae and Student Loan Forgiveness programs

Video:  Love Has No Labels. Made me tear a little!

Funnies:

What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?

- HAND EYYEEEEEEEE

And something that actually occurred in my office-- truly foiled:: 

Weekend Updates- Aladdin, Pizza, and Hair

My weekend felt like it started Wednesday, when I chopped off 15" of hair to donate to Locks Of Love. I was growing it out expressly for this purpose, because I know some places will only accept 12" or more. It took about a year and a half-ish. I cannot even express how much lighter my head felt after it was off. Literally a weight off of my shoulders!

before/after

Thursday we had a snow day! I was able to accomplish a lot around the house. It was a great day equally spent getting things done and relaxing.

view from back patio

snow day wine

Friday I went to see John's Pizzeria and to see Aladdin on Broadway. A friend had posted back in December that she was getting a group together (for the group rate) in the Orchestra section. I jumped on the opportunity. Broadway at a discounted rate? Count me in!

I've heard rave reviews about John's, but had never been. Honestly, I didn't like it. They are popular for having brick oven pizza, but I've had much better. I tried the margherita with mushrooms and fresh basil, and it was pretty soggy. I was really looking forward to the bottom crunch. However, the wine and fried calamari made up for it.

Aladdin was the second Disney Broadway show I've seen (and within a week!). Honestly, this felt like it was geared towards children. The Lion King was much more realistic and heartfelt. This one was cartoonish and seemed to be more about fireworks, comedic dancing, and general pizzazz. I'm glad I was able to see it, but if I had to recommend one over another, I'd say go see The Lion King.

Saturday and Sunday were spent relaxing/hibernating. I didn't leave the house at all on Saturday and binged on Netflix and delivered Dominican food. Sunday I ventured out a little, as it was finally nice out and *almost* felt like Spring. It was nice to have a weekend with nothing on the agenda, as it will be the last one like that for awhile!

How was your weekend?

Confess Sesh

I confess...

I had to complete my first online quiz for a grad class last night. I had no clue what the answer was to one of the questions, so I Googled it, and found the entire answer key.

I only looked at it twice. *pinky promise* And still ended up with a 92!

We have to write an "autobiography" of sorts for my midterm. Basically where we grew up, what we do, hobbies,... and then plans. Like, "Where do you see yourself in 5 years? What do you want to do with this degree? What do you want to be when you grow up?"  I dislike "About Me" pages about me, which is why this blog doesn't even have one. This assignment is giving me intense anxiety.

You know what else makes me anxious? No deadlines. No limits. I asked when today's quiz was due a week ago he said "sometime before next class." When I looked at him completely baffled, he responded, "What,... you want an actual set date/time?" Um, yes please. And the "About Me" paper? It can be anywhere from 8-25 pages. I'm not even kidding. "Be creative!" he said.

I got caught in the middle of a screaming match between my boss and the Controller on Monday. I was called into the meeting to help with a project, and then they started arguing, and then screaming at each other, and I couldn't even get out because I was stuck in the corner, so I just kept quiet. The door was open and the entire office heard everything. Even though I wasn't directly involved, it made me incredibly uncomfortable.

I was assigned to a new project at work, where I have to update every employee's vacation accruals, and realized that about half of the info is wrong. So a project that should have taken about a day and a half will take at the very least until Friday.

I'm going to on vacation in 2 weeks and canNOT wait. This weather blows. It took me 3 hours to get home last night. It normally takes me 15-20 minutes.

A coworker told me that I must like the snow because I wasn't complaining about it.  This was before 10AM;  generally, I don't say much more than "hi" to coworkers before that time. And we live in the Northeast... snow is to be expected, no??

I absolutely hate it when people call me "Honey, sweetie," etc. when they don't know me. Even more so when a guy does it. I've been known to correct them when I'm in a particularly foul mood.


What are you confessin' today? 

March Goals

Things I've accomplished in February:

purchased my planner
got taxes done
planned a vacation.

This is my " Get Your Effin' Shit Together, Dani!" month. I have been lazy for the past couple months and it's time to get it together. I mean, I didn't even set goals since.... November?! Ridiculous. So without further procrastination ado, my March Goals:

1. Spend below my means.
I'm making more money than I ever have before. That's not to say I'm making a lot, but more than any other position. And if I was able to live with less money before, I should be able to continue with that. I've been putting more money towards my student loans and (finally) opened a 401K, and have more bills than other times in my life, but this should not be impossible. I just need to figure out where my "holes" are. So to find out...

2. Budget and track spending.
To find the holes and generally reign it in. I started yesterday. I just keep a note on my phone every time I spend. And being that I always have my phone on me, this should be fairly easy. I may even recap it at the end of the month, but with the vacation, it may be ridiculously off from a "normal" month of spending for me. Because... vacation.

3. Be more realistic about my time and energy levels.
Last night's plan was to come home, meal plan for the week, go grocery shopping, cook, and then do a quiz for one of my classes. Such high hopes, but not realistic. I get home around 6. Even if I change into jeans instead of sweats, once I get home (in winter), I prefer to stay there. I can generally be productive until about 8:30 if I don't sit down for too long. After that though, I start getting lazy/tired (not sure which exactly it is, but the thought of moving off of the couch is distant). Knowing this, I need to plan my evening hours better.

4. Catch up on all schoolwork [mandatory, since I have midterms this month]
Pretty self explanatory. I'm enrolled in two grad classes, and basically haven't done shit for either of them, because they haven't made me. But now the one requires project work for the midterm, and the other one wants a "self evaluation" of how we would be as a Project Manager. Ick.

5. Use What I Have
Aka being resourceful. I'm usually very good at this, but I haven't been lately. I was about to buy a pair of  water shoes just two days ago, but they didn't have my size. Then I went looking through my closet last night and found a pair (with the tags still on). I need to be aware of what I already have and use it before just going out and buying whatever it is.

6. Meal plan weekly... and (at least) 4 new recipes
Success for this week! I know I'm out of town for one week, so that doesn't count. But I think I can still work on cooking and hopefully get some new ones out, even if they're only for myself!

7. Spring Cleaning
Because honestly, it needs to be done ASAP.

8. Finish a Book [mandatory, since I have a book club meeting towards the end of the month]
This month's book is "Olivia Joules and the Overactive Imagination" by Helen Fielding. Looks pretty interesting!

9. Get a damn haircut. 
Because 2 hours for haircare? Ain't nobody got time for that. I'd like to donate my hair, which is why I've let it get so long. I'd like to give a solid 12 inches.

10. Apartment to "Home" Remodel
I've lived in my apartment for a year and a half already, and don't have a single thing hanging on my walls. I have things and pictures to hang, I just haven't actually gotten around to putting them up. I even bought hanger things like 3 months ago. Hopefully this will go along with my Spring cleaning goal.

Weekend Updates - Broadway, Sangria, and Hair

So I had this whole post written up, and then my computer froze and lost everything right before I hit "Publish." And of course it didn't auto-save, because that would have been too easy. Argh. So now you get an abbreviated version. 

Friday was spent running around getting presents and brows done because I was supposed to go to a bridal shower on Sunday, and there would be no time for that jazz on Saturday. 

Saturday Blue and I headed in to the city to see The Lion King on Broadway! I was a bit skeptical about how they would bring the story to life, but it was AMAZING. The costumes, the music, the sets-- everything was so creatively done. I loved the little kids (kid Simba and Nala- so talented and so young!), the cast coming down through the aisles, and Scar. Scar's costume was the best. The actors wore a headpiece with a lion mask on it, but Scar's came forward and down and covered his face when he lowered his head- it was so cool. My favorite scene was definitely the Circle of Life in the beginning when baby Simba is introduced because it had all the animals at once and it was just breathtaking (and of the course the "BAAAAAAAAAAAASOWENYAAAAAAMAMABEATSEBAHBAH!!" part. Love.). Honestly if you have the opportunity to see it, go! 

pre-show drinks

obligatory pic in front of sign

artwork

After the show we went to my favorite Cuban restaurant, Gauntanamera. We went early since we saw the matinee show, so we missed out on the live band and hand-rolled (gratis) cigars, but I'm sure we'll be back soon. The service was fast and we didn't feel rushed, which is one of my biggest pet peeves. I had my standard ropa vieja (shredded beef with rice and beans) and maduros. Blue had slices of prime beef sautéed with garlic, onion and mixed pepper served with Cuban fried rice. Both were outstanding, but the clincher was the sangria. They have the BEST sangria in all the land. Blue agrees. We polished off a pitcher.

maduros, sangria, ropa vieja, and flan

Blue's prime beef dish, cuban rice, and coconut custard flan

Saturday night I got a text from my friend saying that she was sick and wouldn't be able to make it to the bridal shower on Sunday. Being that she was my ride, and there was literally no public transportation to get to the area, I cancelled as well. With a free day, I did some schoolwork, vegged out, and did my hair. I mention the hair because it's a 2 hour long project that I literally plan for. My hair is almost down to my waist, and it's thick and wavy, so straightening it takes a really long time (which is also why I rarely even bother anymore). Luckily I already made an appointment to get it cut on Wednesday, and I can't wait!!

haircare...and stuff

Seeeeee? Too long

Wine-ing down on Sunday night

How was your weekend?