OHP: The Want List

My Spending Freeze ended at the end of March, but I still haven't bought anything. Here are a few things my wardrobe could use, especially for Spring:

Polka Dots

Source: getssweeterwithtime.blogspot.com via Sarah on Pinterest

Source: lolobu.com via Lauren on Pinterest

Source: girlmeetsdesignblog.com via Janelle on Pinterest

Source: champagnereveries.tumblr.com via Line on Pinterest

I love love love the polka dot trend. I really like the little dots though, not the giant ones. Not sure why.

Florals

Source: modaxpressonline.com via ModaXpressOnline.com on Pinterest

Source: fashforfashion.com via Alex on Pinterest

Source: Uploaded by user via Elaina on Pinterest

Source: lockerz.com via Emily on Pinterest

Source: kaitlin-2494.polyvore.com via Bernadette on Pinterest

Florals are SO not my thing though. They are so girly, and I'm more of a jeans and tee, casual type girl. But they look so cute!

Another trend I'm loving?

Cap toe flats 

Source: pearlsandlaceblog.com via Caitlin on Pinterest

I'm all for sandals, but open toes are not acceptable in the work place. I love my slingbacks, but for comfy and cute, I would love some cap toe flats. And look here! You can Do It Yourself! I will definitely be getting on that! Yay!

Source: allthingscharming.wordpress.com via Karen on Pinterest

I know there are more things on my Shopping List, but that's all I'm sharing... for now!

What are some items you want to add to your wardrobe?

Weekend Updates

Thursday: Went to watch C's high school's spring play/musical. They were so good!

Friday: chilled at home [no pics]
Saturday: Started the day off right getting manis/pedis with my girl! I haven't gotten a pedi since late last summer, but (especially now that my spending freeze is over) I decided to splurge a little :) I hate my feet, but the color was so pretty I couldn't resist taking a pic! The color is Essie's Come Here! from the new resort collection (I didn't know that when I was getting it done, just loved the color!).

Not my hand, just to get better idea of color

And then Saturday night we were joined by C, and my friend's hubby and bro to see my first Phillies game of the season! They stunk it up, but it was great to tailgate and see the game... I love watching them in person. Oooh and the stadium got a new booth- Federal Donuts! I have never heard of them before, nor have I ever had fried chicken with anything before, but these guys sell fried chicken with a cake-like donut... it is so FREAKIN DELISH!! I wanted two, but I settled on just one. Definitely getting it again next time I'm there though!

nom nom nom

friendsss

game time

Sunday: Relaxed most of the day, besides running a few errands... and then treated ourselves with some Rita's! It was my first time trying the green apple- it was yummy!

How was your weekend?

The Happiness Report #29

- Having a Saturday off work
- Phillies game
- School plays
- Outdoor movies
- This post about choice
- Finally caving and buying colored denim
- C back at work= not having to take morning train from home
- SNL: Real Housewives of Disney (not sure how I missed this!)
- You Posted WHAT on Facebook?

- Found this over at Mariah's blog and could not stop laughing!

What I Wore Wednesday

Hello lovelies!

I'm a little annoyed this morning, because I fersure wrote this yesterday and it was scheduled to post this am, and it didn't. And it didn't save what I wrote. Le sigh.

ANYWAY, it's humpday! And already the middle of April- this month seems to be going by so fast! But work is slow, so I'm living for weekends. This weekend I'm going to my first PHILLIES game of the season with some friends- hurray! And hopefully seeing my girlfriend's newborn son- can't wait! Just gotta get through the week!

I haven't been too creative with my outfits lately, but hopefully that will change soon because I definitely am starting to feel SPRING in the air! Bring on the sunshine! 

Here are a few recents... hopefully more color coming soon!

white shirt: Gap
blazer: JCP
black pants: super old
boots: Chinese Laundry via DSW
necklace: boutique

sweater, necklace, earrings: gifted
gray/brown pants: Banana Republic
boots: same as above

(sorry for the poor quality)

cowl neck sweater: Michael Kors via TJ Maxx
belt: Wet Seal
jeans: Express
big hurr, don't curr: au naturale

I absolutely love the teal color of this dress. And it was on super sale (many moons ago)! Score!

dress and belt: Express
tights: Target
pumps: Nine West

What are you looking forward to this weekend?

I'm linking up with...

The Pleated Poppy- What I Wore Wednesdays

Transatlantic Blonde- What I Wore Wedesdays

Abbeyleigh- Dress For The Day

Real Girl Glam- Real Girl Style

Cohabitation

I mentioned that we celebrated my girlfriend's bachelorette party a few weeks ago. She and her fiance don't currently live together, so those of us who do (everyone else there) had some advice for her. Here are some things we came up with:

- Own more than one TV
This has saved many a fight. It may seem like a small thing, but it's really not. I'm all for sharing and snuggling and watching TV together, but sometimes you just need your shows- whether it's Dog Bounty Hunter or Real Housewives of [insert city of choice here] and he needs his video games.

- Decide on who is doing what chores before moving in.
Make a chart if you have to. Get a cleaning lady if it helps. But sort this out first!
Don't want to wind up cleaning up after him all the time (or vice versa)? Do you abhor washing dishes? Clearly define what chores will be done by whom.



- Keep Date Nights
Things can get really comfortable when you live with the one you love. You may not always feel like going out, because well, the couch is so comfy, and why not just watch whatever's on? NO! Date nights are important to keep yourselves from getting in a rut. Go out by yourselves, go out with friends- just get out! Staying in may seem like bliss in the beginning, but its also fun to get all dolled up and go out once in a while too!



- Don't Forget About Your Girlfriends
We're not in high school (or college, for some) anymore. Ignoring your girlfriends when you move in with your partner is not acceptable. Plus, you spend all the time with an XY... you may be surprised how badly you need a solid girls' night out! (and of course there's always the opportunity to compare notes, if you're into that sort of thing!) And don't forget it's not always about you- your girlfriends probably miss hanging out with you whenever they want like before you started living with someone!



- Give Each Other Time and Space
This.Is.Key. Living together is awesome at first- someone to have fun with who you actually enjoy a lot around all the time? It's almost like living with your college roommate (that you can choose) all over again! But, you still need your own space sometimes. To, you know, eat jelly covered crackers while standing in your undies in the kitchen (SATC anyone?!) or to sing extremely girly karaoke into your hairbrush without judgement. Not that I know anything about that...



- Communicate
I am still working on this one, but communication is very important. No one I know is a mind reader (but if you know someone, send them my way please!). Did you do something to piss him off? Did he do something way out of line? Do dirty dishes in the sink drive you mad (see #1)? Talk to each other! The issue will go away much quicker and less painfully if there are clear lines of communication. It may not always be easy, but it's definitely worth it.


 - Compromise
Compromising is key in any relationship, regardless if you are living together or not. However, it is still important to note. You each have needs, and it's important that each of you have your needs met, at least some degree. (This is also where communication comes in.) Compromising keeps everyone happy, and that is important for a successful relationship.
Unfortunately, I have no cute GIF for this one. But I got a pic!

Source: facebook.com via MK on Pinterest

- Keep Having Sex... If You Were Doing That Before
If you are saving yourself for marriage well... good for you! However if you are not, and decide to live together, don't stop now! Once you get really comfortable with one another, and usually in marriage, sex is said to decline. This is not a good thing, for obvious reasons. Use whatever it takes to keep things alive in the bedroom and spice things up!

Here are two more resources for ya:
9 More Tips

From Man's POV: Men's Health



[I am not a professional anything, just sharing my two cents on what has worked for me...and what hasn't. Please use your own discretion!]

Music Monday: So Beautiful and Weekend Updates

Leave it to my iPod on shuffle to hit a nerve. I didn't even know I had this song. Since rediscovering it, it has been on repeat for a good majority of today.

I want this. I want to feel like this. Right now, I feel so disconnected. And it sucks. Maybe it's due to this new part time gig I started. I now work 6 days a week, and though it's only 8 hours of work, I don't get home for 12 hours because of where we live. C was supposed to come visit me at my new job on Saturday, but it's in NYC and his stomach hurt, so he didn't make it out. 

I took the day off on Friday to spend some time with C since it was his Spring Break. I gave him free reign to plan out the day. I was hoping he'd plan something romantic; his plan was brunch at a local diner and a movie- not what I had in mind, but the point was for some together time so it was ok, but then it was so crappy out and we both woke up not wanting to go outside at all. It was really nice to have the day off, even though it was rainy all day. We cuddled and watched movies. Or rather, I watched movies while he slept half the day, and eventually he joined me. And then he made dinner which he didn't eat because his stomach still hurt (he's on these antibiotics that are apparently doing a number on his stomach). 

Saturday I was out at 7AM and didn't return until 7-ishPM due to work. And then I fell asleep around 10-10:30. Wompwomp.

Sunday we ran a few errands, and then he had schoolwork to do (that he didn't touch during the whole week off) so we couldn't just hang out together. Instead he did that while I did chores/cleaning. A very fun life we lead! When he was done, he played video games, and now here I am (yes, this is being written on Sunday). Looking back on this weekend, it's no wonder I feel the way I do. At least I have next Saturday off- hopefully that will help. I am already dreading going back to work tomorrow though... bah!

Anyway, some lyrics for the song:

You're my baby,
My lover, my lady
All night
You make me
Want you
It drives me crazy
I feel like you were made just for me baby
Tell me if you feel the same way

[Chorus:]
Cause it just feels so right
I don't wanna waste no time
If I had to choose
I know I'm gonna always choose to be with you
Cause girl don't you know
Girl don't you know
You're so beautiful
I wanna give all my love to you girl
Not just a night
But the rest of your lifeI wanna be always here by your side [2x]

When you're not here
You don't know how much I miss you
The whole time on my mind
Is how much I'm gonna get to make
You feel so good
Like you know I could
Tell me if you feel the same way

[Chorus]

[x2]
Baby don't you
Baby don't you know
You're so beautiful (beautiful, beautiful)
Baby don't you know
You're so beautiful

What are you listening to lately?

The Happiness Report #28

- WINNING tickets to The Great GoogaMooga!
- saving/ making money
- Landshark
- this video of an idiot robber who ran through a glass door

- seeing a friend I haven't seen in years
- another girlfriend pregnant!
- this video of a girl burning off her hair in a tutorial

- paying bills on time
- planning a shower
- compliments

What's making YOU smile today?

Goals Update: April

Get A New Job/ Career- sent in two apps and found a few more I still have to apply for.

Read 20 Books- two more down!

Go On Vacation- Bought my ticket! Going to Puerto Rico in June!

Print Pictures and Make a Scrapbook- urm. Yeah, no progress on this one yet. 

Save Save Save!

     - saving 10% of each paycheck

     - participating in the 52 Week Money Challenge: forgot, my bad! 

     - doing a Money Minute every 3 days

DeClutter/ Simplify- still haven't taken the bags to Goodwill. Also, must mail some presents that are taking up too much space. Urgh. 

Pay Off (at least) One Student Loan
     - revisiting my budget
     - tracking expenses: kind of did this, but I forgot sometimes. Doing well for this month though!
     - going on a 3 month Spending Freeze (eek!): My spending freeze is now OVER! Hurray! But I'm still going to keep spending to a minimum, just not chastise myself if I buy a little something here and there like I was doing the last 3 months!

     - Side Hustles; hopefully $100/month: yeah... no. On track for meeting this goal this month though!

Work on Company- no excuses, I just sucked at this one. Again. But we have already started working on it for this month!

Learn to Say No- yeah... I can't think of any outings I said no to. But I didn't buy even one Groupon/deal this whole month, so that's some progress right?!

How are you doing with your goals?

Weekend Tidbits and Knowing Your Worth

It was a go-go-go weekend for me.

SATURDAY I had my first day of part time work. My friend - we shall call him EZ- sells his BBQ and hot sauces at flea markets, so I offered to help- if he wanted it- for a price. I work in the same building as this guy, so I see him around pretty frequently, and have been helping him on and off with his business for about a year and a half doing admin type work- setting up a phone number, email address, Facebook page, and getting him the forms and applications he needed to set up the business officially and get into these flea markets. I stopped working with him for a bit while C was unemployed, as I was focused on helping C get a job. But as spring rolled around, I figured this would be a perfect opportunity to make a few bucks.

When I approached EZ about wanting to help, he was excited and said he could definitely use it. I wanted to name a price before I started. When I asked him what he was willing to pay, he said transportation + "some." When I asked how much "some" referred to, his reply was "Don't I always take care of you?" In the past when I was selling his sauces, he gave me $1 per sauce, and the sauce sold for $4, so 25% was great! Based on that, I thought well yes, you did take care of me, so okay I'll take your word for it. BDAY IDEA!

First of all, I thought the flea market was indoors- and it was outdoors. I was wearing layers, but all day I was freeeeezing. Other than that, the actual event was okay. I prepped samples, sold food and sauces, ate some, and talked to lots of people. And then 5PM rolled around and we packed up and left. He drove me to where I was meeting my friend for cocktails, which was nice. But then he gave me my pay.... $30.

WTF! I was SO MAD and in complete shock. It costs me $35 just in transportation!!! $30 for a full day (9-5) of work?!?! That's complete bull! I need to make $50 at the very least. Note to self: Know the exact salary before putting in the time!! I had already agreed to work next Saturday, which I will because I keep my word, but not any longer unless he ups the pay.

The saving grace was that I was meeting up with my girlfriend afterwards. I haven't seen her since mid-December, and she got married between then and now in India! It was so nice to catch up and finally see some pics! She took me to two really cool cocktail bars- I honestly don't remember the last time I had a cocktail! It was a place where you tell them what alcohol you want, and then how you want it to taste- clean, crisp, spicy, floral, fruity... etc.

The "Charlie" cocktail

 My first drink was horrible, I think I asked for rye with floral notes and "Springtime" theme- it was citrusy and generally gross, but my friend gladly switched with me. And then I got a FREE cocktail (above) just for checking in with Foursquare! Woohoo!
However after 3 strong cocktails, I was pretty much done. I switched to beer, but I couldn't even drink it! I took a sip of this one though and it was delicious- I will definitely be looking for it again!

SUNDAY was my girl J's baby shower. J used to be a coworker, and although she switched jobs, she and 2 others stay in touch. It was in the middle of nowhere NJ- literally in the sticks, near the PA border. I didn't really want to go, especially since I'm throwing her a shower near where she lives, but the other 2 girls we're friends with didn't go, so I felt like I had to represent. It was weird going in not knowing anyone- I was kind of nervous! There were so many people there too. And poor C had to drive me, and then sat in the basement throughout the shower where he got some work done. I did bring him food though, so he was somewhat content.  Luckily, I found a small group of her new coworkers who were super fun and was able to hang out with them throughout the shower.

Probably my favorite part of the shower (other than the food - which I forgot to take pics of course) was the drive. I absolutely love long drives on Sundays, with the windows down and the radio on. And we took a route that was along the river, and stopped in Frenchtown on the way home, which is a super quaint little town. We checked out the stores and grabbed some coffee before getting back on the road. It was a perfect Sunday ride.

Car that was in front of us- love it! 

After coming home and relaxing for a bit, we went out to dinner at Friday's. C generally hates these chain restaurants, but I was able to talk him into it this time. It was nice to get out and eat somewhere different for a change- usually we just get Chinese takeout or pizza delivery because we're too tired for anything else!

How was your weekend? 

The Happiness Report #27

- ice cream socials at work

- organizing a baby shower

- catching up with a close friend

- This video (even if it is a week late):

- empanadas

- new cocktails

- long drives on a Sunday

- This article on How To Disaster Proof Your Life

- And this one on 3 Steps to Spring Clean Your Finances

- It has taken me a long time to get into this girl, but I am really loving this song, after 1:20 at least

What's making you smile this week?

Easter Weekend Tidbits

Friday:
I had off for Good Friday, but I wound up waking up at 7:30 anyway! Guess my body knew it was a weekday. I did a bunch of chores, and then made these bad boys to bring to a friend's house where we would be pregaming before a fun Bachelorette Party!

Before they hit the oven- black bottom cupcakes
via

And as soon as I got to the house, I promptly dropped half of them on the floor. WOMPWOMP. But we had a great time chatting, snacking, and of course drinking before we went to this wonderful little restaurant called Osteria Grotto in Montclair.

House special- linguini, shrimp and scallops...deliciousness!

The food here was phenomenal. Everything was cooked perfectly. And it's a BYO spot, and we brought a LOT of wine to wash it down. Of course, the above pic is the only one I have of the night! *blogger fail*
I thought we would be heading out afterwards, but we were so full (and tipsy drunk) that we decided to head home. We still didn't get home until almost one... not sure how that happened!

Saturday:
I had decided to stay over a friend's house instead of taking the train super late at night. Saturday morning I was in recovery, and then headed on home. I was supposed to see a friend's new baby that afternoon, but I was beat. I watched some of Elf before taking a little nap, and then running some errands. Elf is the only Christmas I like to watch even when it's not Christmas time. Oh, wait, that's not true. I can also watch Love Actually anytime of the year. But that's less holiday-ish... and it wasn't on TV.

In the late afternoon we made these baskets to take over to our friend's Shiva (did I say that correctly?). His father passed away, so they were all gathering at his parent's house. Though we were there for a super sad occasion, the event itself wasn't too depressing.

crackers, fruit, and olives

more fruit, meats, and cheeses

I was really happy we went just to support our friend. And they really seemed to enjoy our baskets- they dug right in!

Sunday:
Woke up early to go to church. I actually wore a dress, but forgot to get proof  *double blogger fail* Came home, did some errands, and then headed over to C's parents for Easter Dinner with his aunt and uncle. The food, as always, was yummy. Though I felt a little guilty for not being with my mom, I did have a nice time with his family (and being much closer to home certainly wasn't a bad thing- NJ Transit on the weekends is brutal!).

And of COURSE we were super excited to be home in time to watch Game of Thrones! I am SO happy it's back! Can't wait to see what this season brings! Do you watch the show? What did you think?

Book Club Friday: The Secret Life of a Submissive

This week I'm reading...

From GoodReads:
"Sarah K has a secret.

By day she’s a writer and level-headed single mother; by night she’s a submissive, surrendering herself to forbidden delights. But will she perform the most illicit act of all – falling in love?

Written with complete honesty, this is an electrifying journey to the heights of pleasure; a real-life Fifty Shades of Grey.

When Max comes into Sarah’s life – charming, handsome and deliciously brooding – she can’t stop herself. Before long she has surrendered to him in every way: becoming his submissive, yielding her body to his every desire, powerless to fight his sensual temptations.

As Sarah pushes her mind and body to its limits, she begins to realise that she’s in too deep. Pleasure and pain have become her world. She’s addicted – to the adrenalin, to the sensation, to Max himself.

Now she’s in serious danger of giving in to the ultimate temptation: falling in love…

Daring, evocative and thrilling, but told with wit and honesty, this is the explosive true story of life as a submissive, and of a secret world in which only a few dare to play."

My Thoughts:

I have to say that this was a perfect introduction into the BDSM lifestyle, as my only other experience with this type of book was the 50 Shades series, and we all know- how I felt- about those. 

What I like most about this book is that Sarah K is not one I would assume to be into this lifestyle- she is not some young naive girl, but a middle aged single/divorced mother. That was unexpected. After her divorce  she gets tired of just writing about the lifestyle, and wants to actually explore it and that part of herself. I love how her curiosity leads her in a very methodical series of events to meeting Max. I can't say that I've never wondered how people get into this lifestyle. She found a website, much like a "vanilla" dating site, went on a few dates, and found a match. And though I thought Max was a bit gruff at times, overall I thought he was a great Dominant in that he took his time, explaining everything that would happen, and why. He goes slowly. And as a reader, you are introduced to BDSM the same way Sarah is... cautiously, slowly at first, and building up like blocks until you are fully faced with the acts. Though I don't think I can ever truly understand this lifestyle, it gave me a glimpse into it that made a little bit of sense. Max answered all of her questions in an honest, open, and quite direct way. Safety concerns (both psychological and physical) were addressed, and contracts signed in which both parties consented- they wanted this. I think that's an important aspect to consider. 

I enjoyed the fact that they talked about their day to day lives, histories (more his than hers), and other common interests other than their sexual preferences. I think it was this factor that led to love more than anything else. Though I do think they truly did love each other, I feel like the whole Abby bit was thrown in a bit willy-nilly to stir up some drama in the end for a reason for them to part. I understand that this is non-fiction, Abby came out of nowhere! 

I could relate to Sarah's fear of delving into the unknown, and into something that she was previously taught was not only different, but wrong. I could understand her unwillingness to share everything about their relationship to her friends, and her fear of him or her being judged by their relationship after the initial meeting. 

I did think it was odd that Sarah's children never came up, except towards the end when her son was home and she was getting the anonymous calls. I understand that they were grown children, but it seemed like they didn't exist at all, whereas Max's youngest child and former partner were the reason for their breaking up. I also don't understand how such an independent woman- as Sarah seems to be apart from this relationship- would be willing and eager to be flogged, gagged, made to sleep on the floor, call anyone "Sir", and wear a padlocked dog collar necklace. Some of the scenes described did make me recoil in utter disgust, but I suppose it's just a matter of personal preference. Can't help what you're into, can you? And why should you- apparently there's a whole community ready to accept anything you may be interested in out there! 

Overall, I thought this was a very well written book that allowed the reader to truly get a feeling of what it was like to enter, and be an integral part, of this lifestyle. 

Thanks so much to the publisher for providing me with this book to review!