FB Status Updates That Make Me Eyeroll

Ahh, Facebook. How I love and hate you all at once. So many times I see great stories, the latest, breaking news, funny (and most likely punny) posts from friends; and sometimes I read status updates that make me eye-roll... hard. So I decided to share some of them here. The following are REAL status updates that have appeared on my newsfeed that make me cringe. My personal thoughts upon reading them (other than the eye-roll) in italics:


"I love [insert boyfriend's name here]!! Yum yum yum"

Seriously? Of course you love your boyfriend. Very happy for you, but you feel the need to announce it on FB? And "yum"? Ew. 

"As of September 28th, 2015 at 8:03 am Eastern standard time, I do not give Facebook or any entities associated with Facebook permission to use my pictures, information, or posts, both past and future. By this statement, I give notice to Facebook it is strictly forbidden to disclose, copy, distribute, or take any other action against me based on this profile and/or its contents. The content of this profile is private and confidential information. The violation of privacy can be punished by law (UCC 1-308- 1 1 308-103 and the Rome Statute). NOTE: Facebook is now a public entity. All members must post a note like this. If you prefer, you can copy and paste this version. If you do not publish a statement atleast once it will be tactically allowing the use of your photos, as well as the information contained in the profile status updates. DO NOT SHARE. You MUST copy and paste"

Sounds fishy. And I hate being ordered around... I don't MUST gotta do anything. 

*Any time you post yet ANOTHER car or boob selfie*

AGAIN??! 

*Any time you post a picture of a newborn*

Ew ew ew ew ew. Can you at least wait until they clean him/her up though??? 

"I thought of you and I do believe in Karma. This is for u ,Read till the end! I sent an angel to watch over you last night, but it came back and asked "why?" The angel said, "angels don't watch over angels!" twenty angels are in your world. Ten are sleeping, nine of them are playing and one is reading this message. The universe has seen you struggling with some things and says it over. a blessing is coming your way. If you believe in Karma send this message to 14 friends including me, if I don't get it back I guess I'm not one of them. As soon as you get 5 replies, someone you love will quietly surprise you... Not joking. Pass this message on. Please don't ignore it. you are being tested and Karma is going to fix two big things tonight in your favor. If you believe in Karma drop everything and pass it on TOMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. DON'T BREAK THIS. SEND THIS TO 14 FRIENDS IN 10 MINUTES IT'S NOT THAT HARD. WHOEVER SENT THIS TO YOU MUST CARE ABOUT YOU Just hold your finger on it n it should say forward"

Chain letters are still a thing? I really hate getting these. I don't want 10 years of bad luck or whatever. But I don't want to send it. Wait- who sent this to me? Ugh.

"Today I was told an interesting story about "this crazy drunk girl" Barry brought home "this one time" who hugged and kissed everyone, and the cat. Yeah, it was about me."

Aren't we a bit old for "crazy" drunk stories? You can be drunk without telling the whole internets about it, geez. 

"And screaming and cursing has begun."
"Trying to get information from (ex-husband) is like nailing jello to a wall."
"*internal screaming*"

Wow, way to air out ALL your dirty laundry...

"The worst part about this divorce is that I'm going to miss the looks on people's faces when they ask like "awww where did you meet your husband" and im like "at his wedding" because its been kinda awesome."

That's "awesome" to you? You sound like a ho. A ho whom I would def NOT invite to my wedding.

"Starting the laundry, cleaning the kitchen, doing dishes, taking care of the pets, taking the garbage out & finally starting my day..👍"

Way to go rock star- you're adulting really well today! (sarcasm)

"For a friend:

I am very selective when it comes to befriending friends and family, but I'm doing this once and once only, so now's your chance.........It occurs to me that for each and every one of you on my friends list, I catch myself looking at your pictures, sharing jokes and news, as well as support during good and bad times. I am also happy to have you among my friends. We will see who will take the time to read this message until the end....... If you appreciate your friends and family from all over the world, copy this into your status, even if it's just for a minute. I'm going to be watching to see who takes care of the friendship, just like me. Thank you all for being a part of my life. Copy and paste this. DON'T SHARE!! If no one reads my wall, this should be a very short experiment. So, if you read this, leave one word as to how we met. Only ONE word, then copy & paste this to your wall so I can leave a word for you."

Wait... who are you again?

"I intend to fill Facebook with comic book heroes to fight the saturation of negative images and videos. Give me a like and I'll assign you a character."

Well that's cute, but no. 

*Any time you share a FB profile with you husband/wife/significant other*

Trust issues, much?

*Any time you create an FB profile for your pet... and "it" friend requests me*

THIS IS SO DUMB. *decline*

*Any time we haven't spoken in 10+ years but you tag me on some quiz/survey you just took*

Just.... no. 

"The deflation of loyalty from Beef [guy's nickname] eyes: ride or die.. Those who know me I know it's 2015 I live and die by the sword ! Brudda hood , friendship, and loyalty mean everything to me ! Those who know and love me. know that I am the most loyal mother fucker around ! I will give my life for anyone close to me friend or family ! But seems like I've my eyes that's hard to come by !! So I ask those who really care show ur love and Those who don't ? I'm sorry that ur alone !"

I had to read that at least twice just to understand what it was saying. 
The "sword"? What sword? You don't even own a sword, "Brudda."

*Any time you post a picture of your injury*

Ew ew ew ew ew (particularly if there's blood).

*Any time you post song lyrics*

"I've felt the hate rise up in me...
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves...
I wander out where you can't see...
Inside my shell I wait and bleed..."

This isn't your away message. Also, stop Vague-booking. 

"Twas Hamstring and Glute day... finalized with some abs. Ever since starting crossfit/ strongman I've had to up the ante on my core training. Upping my‪#‎s‬ in weights has definitely changed my physique from my once bikini body, I'm still adjusting (with my body image and lack of clothes besides spandex that fit)."

OMG WHO CARES??! Also, this:

"Pretty how it sums up about the opinion of others. I will say what I want. Do I offend? I reeeaallllyyy DO NOT CARE! Either you like or respect me for my honesty or you can double time your ass right on out my life and only care to hear what appeases your coddled mindset . Just watch what you say behind my back. Next in line!"

Le sigh. 
Wait- coddled mindset? That sounds weird. I don't think that's used correctly...

*Political or religious rants*

Oh boy, here we go... wow you're dumb. SERIOUSLY? DID YOU EVEN READ THE BIBLE? No no no no... I can't believe people like this are allowed to vote... etc. etc. 

I got this idea from here.  What are some updates that make you eye-roll? 

Friday Favorites

Ah, the first Friday of fall. And it certainly feels that way too- I already miss the heat! Hoodie weather is here, at least in the mornings. Let's kick off this weekend with Amanda and some favorites!

Favorite Song: Ellie Goulding- On My Mind

Favorite Wish List Item: Kerri posted these on IG and I haven't been able to get them out of my head since! Heated Narwal slippers! 

Favorite Recipe: I definitely want to make this this season. It looks so hearty! 

{via}

Favorite Reads:

I found this article from Real Simple on dealing with sentimental clutter, which is what I have the biggest issue parting with, and I definitely intend to try a few of their suggested steps.

This guy crossed the U.S. by train in 4 days (including stopovers) and it only cost him $429! This is so cool, and now I want to do it too!

I just heard about this restaurant and was completely grossed out. Tacos and such topped with worms and/or other creepy crawlers? No, thank you!

Being a streaming junkie, I love Vulture's list of What to Stream Now, complete with shows that are new this month and leaving soon.

I've heard that dating is hard, but now you can get dumped just for not having the "right" Myer-Briggs personality letter combo? Seems a bit odd, if you ask me.

Favorite Funnies:

A little office humor...

Basically...

Ellen's got the right idea!

Hahaha...

And a little dose of pre-weekend cuteness overload. That tongue though...

Confessions

I'm so happy that Alanna brought back this confessions linkup! Here are a few that have been bouncing around in my head lately: 

I get irrationally mad when I share a photo or song or something, and then someone else shares it and get ALLTHELIKES. Like, where was everyone when I posted the exact same thing 3 weeks ago?

I don't understand how it takes some people 30 minutes to PREP a photo for IG. Maybe because when I see something pic-worthy, or just feel like posting, I just do it. I don't prep, stage, check the lighting... heck, I hardly even use filters. Also, I don't like social media rules like this. "What's an Instagram worthy picture?" Whatever I damn well please, thankyouverymuch.

I also don't understand these rings. Seriously, how do you move your fingers while wearing them? 

One of my all time favorite songs (as in, on the "Do Not Skip" list when on shuffle), is Mariah Carey's "Emotions." So when I heard that Little Miss Donut Licker had made a cover, I was all ready to completely hate on it. But, it's actually really good.

Somehow, I missed the whole avocado toast phenomenon, which is surprising because IG is my favorite social media platform, and I love avocado everything.

I have a happy food dance. It's kinda like this:

What's periscope? Is it like a video version of Snapchat? Help me.

I learned that HopStop is going away. If you don't know, it was a website/app that helped you navigate public transportation systems and subways and such. And now I have no idea how I'm going to get around NYC, since I have absolutely no sense of direction. 

And since today is the first official day of Fall:

What are you confessing today?

Fall Bucket List

Fall officially begins tomorrow. Though summer is my absolute favorite, I'm not completely against fall (winter, on the other hand, is a whole different story). I like football, the darker colors and plaids, boots and hoodies, and the beginning of crockpot season. I like seeing the leaves change colors, especially a little further up north. And I love pumpkin flavored everything (particularly pumpkin pie!). 

For me, summer is really my season to be out and about as much as humanly possible. But the cooler temps make it more bearable for most, so I like it because it's easier to get my friends to join me! So just like I made a Summer bucket list, I've made one for fall as well! 

Fall Bucket List

drink allthepumpkinales

craft something 

put up fall decor

attend another concert

dress up for Halloween

go to a haunted house or forest
attend an Oktoberfest event

watch a "new to me" horror movie

attend a football game//tailgate//or throw a Football themed party

bake banana nut bread

go pumpkin picking
go apple picking

attend a fall festival or winery

enjoy a PSL or 5

bake pumpkin pie~ an annual tradition!

Will you join me? What's on your fall bucket list? 

Weekend Updates: Down with the Sickness

Please, pretty please, tell me you know where that title comes from! 

My weekend was quiet. Mostly because I started feeling like crap around midday Friday, to the point where I actually contemplated leaving work early (which I never do). But since it was quiet in the office, I decided to just stick it out. Today however, I'm staying home. I hate it when people come into work sneezing and hacking up a lung and spreading their germs all over the damn office (most likely how I got sick in the first place), so I decided to spare my coworkers. 

This is what my weekend looked like: 

I came home from work on Friday, changed into PJ's, went to Rite Aid for sickness supplies (tea, tissues, ice cream, and drugs), and climbed into bed. I had a fever too, so I took some Nyquil,  and I believe I had ice cream for dinner, because my throat was super sore and that was the only thing (other than tea) that felt soothing. 

Saturday we had dinner plans at Blue's aunt's house, so I pulled myself together and went. She made a pre-Thanksgiving meal, which was awesome since it's one of my favorite meals ever. We also picked up some Blackberry brandy on the way over since my great-aunts swore that it helped fight off sickness. It tasted like medicine, so I'm sure it helped. 

Sunday I finally moved up to couches (woohoo!). I watched TWD (update: halfway through season 5) while Blue watched the Giants lose. She made spaghetti and meatballs which I couldn't smell or taste but they seemed good? I was just happy that I had an appetite. Oh, and there was wine, because alcohol kills germs, right? Right. 

And then I read for a bit and live-tweeted the Emmys. Did anyone else watch? If not, you didn't miss much. Andy Samberg was annoying as all hell. Seriously he wasn't funny AT ALL. The Amys stole the show. Veep and Olive Kitteridge won everything. And Jon Hamm finally got an Emmy for Mad Men (I have yet to watch the show). I was going to write more about it, like my favorite outfits and such, but I'm kinda tired already. Maybe tomorrow. 

How was you weekend? 

Linking up with the lovely Biana for Weekending.

Friday Favorites

Anyone else feel like Thursday came twice this week? Talk about a long week! Also, I think I'm coming down with something, probably from all the dang sick people in my office #rage. Luckily I'll be able to rest up this weekend, since it looks like a quiet one. Let's kick it off with Amanda and some faves from this week. 

Favorite Song: Pink- Today's the Day

Favorite Quote:

Favorite Reads on the Internets:
Do you enjoy personality tests/quizzes? I just found this one and loved it- it was so point on! 

If you haven't seen it yet, here's an RN's response to the disparaging remarks made by the co-hosts on The View. 

Actually... I didn't see a whole lot on the Internets this week, so that's all you get. If you saw something cool though, I'd love to see it! 


Favorite Moment of the Week: 
Getting to see Mindy Kaling in conversation with Tina Fey about her life and latest book! 

Favorite Video:

I can't stop laughing... 

Favorite Funnies:

What are you up to this weekend?

Decorating An Apartment on a Shoestring Budget

When I first moved into my apartment 2 years ago, all I had were clothes. My heart was recovering from a breakup (the reason for the move), and my bank account was recovering from moving costs. I slept on an air mattress my coworker had given me, and ate on dishware that another friend/coworker had gifted to me as a housewarming present. This wasn't my first rodeo living alone, but it was the first without furniture; I had lived in semi-furnished apartments before, and threw out most of my own furniture when I moved in with my ex. But I was so happy when I moved that I didn't care. I'd get my place together little by little with time. And I realized a few months ago that I had done just that- and you can too (without breaking the bank)! How? Keep reading!

Here is what my apartment looks like now:

from top left: living room/ kitchen/ bedroom/ dining area

(Not pictured above: my bathroom. But we'll get to that later.) So I mentioned that when I first moved, all I had was clothing, which is completely true. But I did have some artwork and other odds and ends at my old place, which I was able to move with the help of a dear friend 3 months later. I'll note where everything came from. I'm going to break up my possessions into the following categories:

Mine (brought over from previous place)

Gifted

Freecycle- this is a website that you can sign up for by town. People post things they want to get rid of or will be putting on the curb, and if you want it, you tell them. It's on a first come, first serve basis. People can also post things they want or need, so if others in the group have it, they can offer it. The only condition is that everything is free. It's a great service. 

Curb Pickings- ain't no shame in my game

Purchased

Let's start the dining area, since the only (small) pic of it is above. The dining area is not really sectioned off, so I created a section by using the back of a couch to differentiate it from the rest of the living area. 
Mine: bamboo painting (that I picked up at a garage sale)
Gifted: laptop (thanks Mom!)
Freecycle: dining room table + chairs
Curb Pickings: lamp
Purchased: 0

Next up, my kitchen:

My kitchen is pretty big. It came with all of the big appliances: refrigerator, stove/oven, and dishwasher (which I have yet to use). 

Mine: coffeemaker, some stuff on fridge, everything on top of bar (including the sign, which was from my childhood home), plant

Gifted: mugs, can opener, the other stuff on the fridge, wine glasses

Freecycle: bar, mug tree, dish towels

Curb Pickings: microwave, dish rack

Purchased: 0 (maybe one or two magnets?)

A note on the dishtowels: First of all, they were brand spanking new when I received them, tags and all, and were clean (I accidentally stained the one in the middle).  When I met with the woman offering them, she was getting rid of a couple other items too, and mentioned that she was moving in with her boyfriend and needed to get rid of some furniture too, but was selling them on Craigslist. At this point, I had been in my new apartment for only a few months, and still had basically nothing, so I asked her what she was selling. We struck a deal where I was able to purchase my bed (it was also new, like 2 months old, and was in a mattress cover)+ frame, the dining room table + chairs, the gorgeous solid wood bar, and my small nightstand for a few (maybe $700?) hundred bucks!  It really pays to talk to people! 

magnet collection/announcement cards and my bar

Moving on, my living room:

Mine: lamps, throw blankets, a few books and pics/photo albums, artwork, ottoman where Roku/router sit, stand where TV sits, DVDs

Gifted: every other book (at least  3/4 of them), TV, Roku, wireless router, plant

Freecycle: 0

Curb Pickings: both couches, both coffee tables (one nested in the big one), throw pillows, bookcase, Buddha statue

Purchased: thermal curtains- on super sale last January at JC Penney 

My bathroom is terrible. All the tiling and sink/tub are in a horrible mustard color. This is the only time I attempted to use Pinterest to help me find a matching color, which I decided was a deep gray. 

Mine: ducks, nail polishes+container, candle holders + shells 

Gifted: 0

Freecycle: 0

Purchased: shower curtain, artwork, bathmat- all from TJ Maxx

Lastly, my bedroom:

Mine: dresser (from when I was a kid), jewelry tree + some jewelry, bin with clothes, comforter/ pillows

Gifted: everything else on my dresser (hat and jewelry boxes included)

Freecycle: queen sized bed, nightstand, stereo 

Curb pickings: Candelabra + candles

Purchased: sheets, curtains- both from Target

Other: I actually painted that painting at one of those drink and paint classes. I'm no Picasso, but I kinda love it.

Also not pictured is my deck. It has two cushioned outdoor chairs which I found curb side (a set of 4 actually, I have the other two stored in my basement), and a small table that was already mine from childhood. 

So there's my apartment! And as you can see, I didn't purchase a whole lot! You just have to keep an eye open and know where to look! Do you have any tips on how to decorate when you don't have a lot of money? 

I'm linking up with Kiki @ In It's Time: