Book Club Friday: The Secret Life of a Submissive

This week I'm reading...

From GoodReads:
"Sarah K has a secret.

By day she’s a writer and level-headed single mother; by night she’s a submissive, surrendering herself to forbidden delights. But will she perform the most illicit act of all – falling in love?

Written with complete honesty, this is an electrifying journey to the heights of pleasure; a real-life Fifty Shades of Grey.

When Max comes into Sarah’s life – charming, handsome and deliciously brooding – she can’t stop herself. Before long she has surrendered to him in every way: becoming his submissive, yielding her body to his every desire, powerless to fight his sensual temptations.

As Sarah pushes her mind and body to its limits, she begins to realise that she’s in too deep. Pleasure and pain have become her world. She’s addicted – to the adrenalin, to the sensation, to Max himself.

Now she’s in serious danger of giving in to the ultimate temptation: falling in love…

Daring, evocative and thrilling, but told with wit and honesty, this is the explosive true story of life as a submissive, and of a secret world in which only a few dare to play."

My Thoughts:

I have to say that this was a perfect introduction into the BDSM lifestyle, as my only other experience with this type of book was the 50 Shades series, and we all know- how I felt- about those. 

What I like most about this book is that Sarah K is not one I would assume to be into this lifestyle- she is not some young naive girl, but a middle aged single/divorced mother. That was unexpected. After her divorce  she gets tired of just writing about the lifestyle, and wants to actually explore it and that part of herself. I love how her curiosity leads her in a very methodical series of events to meeting Max. I can't say that I've never wondered how people get into this lifestyle. She found a website, much like a "vanilla" dating site, went on a few dates, and found a match. And though I thought Max was a bit gruff at times, overall I thought he was a great Dominant in that he took his time, explaining everything that would happen, and why. He goes slowly. And as a reader, you are introduced to BDSM the same way Sarah is... cautiously, slowly at first, and building up like blocks until you are fully faced with the acts. Though I don't think I can ever truly understand this lifestyle, it gave me a glimpse into it that made a little bit of sense. Max answered all of her questions in an honest, open, and quite direct way. Safety concerns (both psychological and physical) were addressed, and contracts signed in which both parties consented- they wanted this. I think that's an important aspect to consider. 

I enjoyed the fact that they talked about their day to day lives, histories (more his than hers), and other common interests other than their sexual preferences. I think it was this factor that led to love more than anything else. Though I do think they truly did love each other, I feel like the whole Abby bit was thrown in a bit willy-nilly to stir up some drama in the end for a reason for them to part. I understand that this is non-fiction, Abby came out of nowhere! 

I could relate to Sarah's fear of delving into the unknown, and into something that she was previously taught was not only different, but wrong. I could understand her unwillingness to share everything about their relationship to her friends, and her fear of him or her being judged by their relationship after the initial meeting. 

I did think it was odd that Sarah's children never came up, except towards the end when her son was home and she was getting the anonymous calls. I understand that they were grown children, but it seemed like they didn't exist at all, whereas Max's youngest child and former partner were the reason for their breaking up. I also don't understand how such an independent woman- as Sarah seems to be apart from this relationship- would be willing and eager to be flogged, gagged, made to sleep on the floor, call anyone "Sir", and wear a padlocked dog collar necklace. Some of the scenes described did make me recoil in utter disgust, but I suppose it's just a matter of personal preference. Can't help what you're into, can you? And why should you- apparently there's a whole community ready to accept anything you may be interested in out there! 

Overall, I thought this was a very well written book that allowed the reader to truly get a feeling of what it was like to enter, and be an integral part, of this lifestyle. 

Thanks so much to the publisher for providing me with this book to review!