So, I haven't blogged much lately because there are things going on in my personal life, and I'm not ready to share.
I realize this is my blog, and I can say what I want.
I realize that a lot of bloggers do talk about things bothering them in their personal life, things they are going through, and things their readers may relate to. They share their stoy- whether it's happy or sad. I love these bloggers, and read their tales of joy or woe with enthusiasm. I comment with a similar anecdote, or a few words of hope, or just laugh along with them. I understand that writing helps the healing process,...and that sharing eases the burden they may feel they are carrying alone.
Then there are those who use... an alternate route. They share on social media sites like Facebook and Twitter. I admit, I do sometimes update my FB status, but usually it's something positive. And sometimes I turn to Twitter, because I have less followers there, and can be as cryptic or open as I want...I mean, sometimes 140 characters is just enough to say something, without saying everything.
Sidenote for those of you in your 20's or older: Remember when AIM existed? And people (myself included) used to put up song lyrics to express how they were feeling? I miss those days. Now you put something like that on FB, and you have several people asking "Why so cryptic? What's going on?" Umm, if I wanted to explain, I would have. Or the snarkier ones saying, "Emo much?" But I digress...
So back to the ones who use FB/Twitter. And let's focus on those who use it for the negative things in their lives. They either seem like they are always complaining, or seem like they are airing their dirty laundry for all the world to see. They seem to want people to feel bad for them. I don't like that. I almost feel guilty for
not commiserating with them.
My reason for not sharing on those sites is that I don't want people to feel like they "have to" feel bad for me. (Well that, and for my frenemies not to know that something is wrong.) Sometimes I just want to vent (hence, my blog).
Depending on what the problem is, some others (shall we call them Drama Queens?) like to make their business really public, like out in the street. They like to draw a crowd. They want everyone in earshot and sight to know who or what did them wrong. I try to avoid these types at all costs. They're like cannons- you never know when they're gonna blow their top an get all loud and crazy.
Then there are those who, when something is wrong, like,
really wrong, they can quiet and withdrawn. They don't want to talk to anyone, except maybe one close friend. This is where I fall. Except being that I'm usually very friendly and outgoing, people can tell right away when something is wrong. I wear my emotions on my face, and do so unknowingly. Even when I try to hide it, or lie about how I'm feeling, it shows. I'm trying to work on this, but for now I can't help it.
And so, since I'm not ready to open up just yet, I'll just share a little something that's been on repeat for me lately. Enjoy.
You used to talk to me like
I was the only one around.
You used to lean on me like
The only other choice was falling down.
You used to walk with me like
We had nowhere we needed to go,
Nice and slow, to no place in particular.
Chorus:
[We used to have this figured out;
We used to breathe without a doubt.
When nights were clear, you were the first star that I'd see.
We used to have this under control.
We never thought.
We used to know.
At least there's you, and at least there's me.
Can we get this back?
Can we get this back to how it used to be?]
I used to reach for you when
I got lost along the way.
I used to listen.
You always had just the right thing to say.
I used to follow you.
Never really cared where we would go,
Fast or slow, to anywhere at all.
I look around me,
And I want you to be there
'Cause I miss the things that we shared.
Look around you.
It's empty, and you're sad
'Cause you miss the love that we had.
[Chorus]
