FB Status Updates That Make Me Eyeroll

Ahh, Facebook. How I love and hate you all at once. So many times I see great stories, the latest, breaking news, funny (and most likely punny) posts from friends; and sometimes I read status updates that make me eye-roll... hard. So I decided to share some of them here. The following are REAL status updates that have appeared on my newsfeed that make me cringe. My personal thoughts upon reading them (other than the eye-roll) in italics:


"I love [insert boyfriend's name here]!! Yum yum yum"

Seriously? Of course you love your boyfriend. Very happy for you, but you feel the need to announce it on FB? And "yum"? Ew. 

"As of September 28th, 2015 at 8:03 am Eastern standard time, I do not give Facebook or any entities associated with Facebook permission to use my pictures, information, or posts, both past and future. By this statement, I give notice to Facebook it is strictly forbidden to disclose, copy, distribute, or take any other action against me based on this profile and/or its contents. The content of this profile is private and confidential information. The violation of privacy can be punished by law (UCC 1-308- 1 1 308-103 and the Rome Statute). NOTE: Facebook is now a public entity. All members must post a note like this. If you prefer, you can copy and paste this version. If you do not publish a statement atleast once it will be tactically allowing the use of your photos, as well as the information contained in the profile status updates. DO NOT SHARE. You MUST copy and paste"

Sounds fishy. And I hate being ordered around... I don't MUST gotta do anything. 

*Any time you post yet ANOTHER car or boob selfie*

AGAIN??! 

*Any time you post a picture of a newborn*

Ew ew ew ew ew. Can you at least wait until they clean him/her up though??? 

"I thought of you and I do believe in Karma. This is for u ,Read till the end! I sent an angel to watch over you last night, but it came back and asked "why?" The angel said, "angels don't watch over angels!" twenty angels are in your world. Ten are sleeping, nine of them are playing and one is reading this message. The universe has seen you struggling with some things and says it over. a blessing is coming your way. If you believe in Karma send this message to 14 friends including me, if I don't get it back I guess I'm not one of them. As soon as you get 5 replies, someone you love will quietly surprise you... Not joking. Pass this message on. Please don't ignore it. you are being tested and Karma is going to fix two big things tonight in your favor. If you believe in Karma drop everything and pass it on TOMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. DON'T BREAK THIS. SEND THIS TO 14 FRIENDS IN 10 MINUTES IT'S NOT THAT HARD. WHOEVER SENT THIS TO YOU MUST CARE ABOUT YOU Just hold your finger on it n it should say forward"

Chain letters are still a thing? I really hate getting these. I don't want 10 years of bad luck or whatever. But I don't want to send it. Wait- who sent this to me? Ugh.

"Today I was told an interesting story about "this crazy drunk girl" Barry brought home "this one time" who hugged and kissed everyone, and the cat. Yeah, it was about me."

Aren't we a bit old for "crazy" drunk stories? You can be drunk without telling the whole internets about it, geez. 

"And screaming and cursing has begun."
"Trying to get information from (ex-husband) is like nailing jello to a wall."
"*internal screaming*"

Wow, way to air out ALL your dirty laundry...

"The worst part about this divorce is that I'm going to miss the looks on people's faces when they ask like "awww where did you meet your husband" and im like "at his wedding" because its been kinda awesome."

That's "awesome" to you? You sound like a ho. A ho whom I would def NOT invite to my wedding.

"Starting the laundry, cleaning the kitchen, doing dishes, taking care of the pets, taking the garbage out & finally starting my day..👍"

Way to go rock star- you're adulting really well today! (sarcasm)

"For a friend:

I am very selective when it comes to befriending friends and family, but I'm doing this once and once only, so now's your chance.........It occurs to me that for each and every one of you on my friends list, I catch myself looking at your pictures, sharing jokes and news, as well as support during good and bad times. I am also happy to have you among my friends. We will see who will take the time to read this message until the end....... If you appreciate your friends and family from all over the world, copy this into your status, even if it's just for a minute. I'm going to be watching to see who takes care of the friendship, just like me. Thank you all for being a part of my life. Copy and paste this. DON'T SHARE!! If no one reads my wall, this should be a very short experiment. So, if you read this, leave one word as to how we met. Only ONE word, then copy & paste this to your wall so I can leave a word for you."

Wait... who are you again?

"I intend to fill Facebook with comic book heroes to fight the saturation of negative images and videos. Give me a like and I'll assign you a character."

Well that's cute, but no. 

*Any time you share a FB profile with you husband/wife/significant other*

Trust issues, much?

*Any time you create an FB profile for your pet... and "it" friend requests me*

THIS IS SO DUMB. *decline*

*Any time we haven't spoken in 10+ years but you tag me on some quiz/survey you just took*

Just.... no. 

"The deflation of loyalty from Beef [guy's nickname] eyes: ride or die.. Those who know me I know it's 2015 I live and die by the sword ! Brudda hood , friendship, and loyalty mean everything to me ! Those who know and love me. know that I am the most loyal mother fucker around ! I will give my life for anyone close to me friend or family ! But seems like I've my eyes that's hard to come by !! So I ask those who really care show ur love and Those who don't ? I'm sorry that ur alone !"

I had to read that at least twice just to understand what it was saying. 
The "sword"? What sword? You don't even own a sword, "Brudda."

*Any time you post a picture of your injury*

Ew ew ew ew ew (particularly if there's blood).

*Any time you post song lyrics*

"I've felt the hate rise up in me...
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves...
I wander out where you can't see...
Inside my shell I wait and bleed..."

This isn't your away message. Also, stop Vague-booking. 

"Twas Hamstring and Glute day... finalized with some abs. Ever since starting crossfit/ strongman I've had to up the ante on my core training. Upping my‪#‎s‬ in weights has definitely changed my physique from my once bikini body, I'm still adjusting (with my body image and lack of clothes besides spandex that fit)."

OMG WHO CARES??! Also, this:

"Pretty how it sums up about the opinion of others. I will say what I want. Do I offend? I reeeaallllyyy DO NOT CARE! Either you like or respect me for my honesty or you can double time your ass right on out my life and only care to hear what appeases your coddled mindset . Just watch what you say behind my back. Next in line!"

Le sigh. 
Wait- coddled mindset? That sounds weird. I don't think that's used correctly...

*Political or religious rants*

Oh boy, here we go... wow you're dumb. SERIOUSLY? DID YOU EVEN READ THE BIBLE? No no no no... I can't believe people like this are allowed to vote... etc. etc. 

I got this idea from here.  What are some updates that make you eye-roll? 

Confessions

It's been a while since I've made some confessions, so I'm joining Melissa to get some things off my chest...

FB posts like this make me ragey:

"Having two very senior execs fight over having me as their employee should be a good thing... Right? Ughhhh I hate being an adult ::decisions decisions::"

Of course it's a good thing. It's also (according to your post) not your decision. If this thought was posed as straight bragging vs. whatever you call this, I would have been more celebratory/supportive.

I really like Young and Hungry. I know it's on ABC Family. But it's cute. They need to redo their intro though.

I just found out yesterday that the airline forgot to charge me for cocktails on my return flight home from a trip over a month ago. #winning

I do not understand the purple hair trend.

I also do not understand the Lilly Pulitzer for Target obsession nor did I partake in any part of it.

I rarely get on a soapbox about anything, but I just saw this and it re-sparked my disgruntled-ness. On bindis:

"They’ve become just another accessory for people to toss on to add to whatever aesthetic is in style right now, and I’m sorry, but last I checked, my culture was not an accessory, and it sure as hell isn’t a trend."

Yes, I'm (half) Indian-American, and yes, this bothers me. And every time I see someone wearing a bindi as an accessory I am tempted to approach them and try to explain the significance of what they're wearing, but then I remember that they probably do't care and, like most trends, it will probably go away soon.

I completely agree with this post about being busy. Everyone is busy. Your busy isn't any more or less important than my busy, it just means that you're less willing to make time for certain things. I know a girl who is what I would call the epitome of busy- she's a wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, full time scientist, and part time PhD biochemistry student. And yet she makes time to see everyone. I have no idea how she does it, but she does. And if she can't physically see you, she makes time for phone calls or send emails to stay in touch.

I did TERRIBLE on the midterm for one of my grad classes. In my defense, my aunt passed away two days before, and I should have told my professor and rescheduled it but I tried to take it anyway. I spoke with my professor today, and it's going to take a LOT to get back up to where I want to be. 

I daydreamed about chili cheese dogs for my entire 2 1/2 hr class last night. And then I visited Grays Papaya #cravingsatisfied

Last night I realized I really am my mother's daughter. Walking toward the train station in heels and a long black raincoat, stopping for dirty water dogs, grabbing a cold one before taking the train home. The only differences were the dog toppings (sauerkraut/mustard vs. chili cheese), beer choice (Coors Lite vs. Bud Lite), and the fact that she was married already.

Thoughts on Stuff...and Things

This is just some of the things that have been on my mind lately, in no particular order. It's more like a brain dump. Hopefully typing it out will help get them out of my head!

Work

I think I've mentioned this before, but I work as a "Campus Support Specialist" at a college. Basically that just means I'm the one you call when you can't record your time off or input your hours worked, or if you're having issues with the financial system. Lately, work has been a major pain in my ass. I keep having to clean up after my coworker which is really making coming to work unenjoyable. I usually like my job, but this is some BS. I feel bad for her because we got this new ticketing system and now have to record every problem call/email we get and she's slow and keeps messing up, but I'm also tired of trying to point it out to her before she gets in trouble from our boss or just cleaning it up myself. I feel like I'm her boss and I don't like it. Also, yesterday someone called me HER assistant, and I almost lost my shit. I'm doing double the work (especially since she's been out a lot recently due to a broken foot) and it just kind of sucks.  I need a vacation.

Blogging

I've been a bit of a slacker on the blogging front this year. I just don't feel like I have a whole lot to say, nor do I find the time to actually sit down and type it out when I do have stuff to say. When I get home, I just want to flop out on my couch under a gazillion blankets and tune the world out. I have a bunch of drafts started though, so maybe I'll get better at posting them soon. Maybe.

Running into an Ex

I realized not that long ago that I'm on the same train line as two of my (very long ago) exes. It's oddly uncomfortable, even though we ended years ago and everyone has since moved on. Like, Do we say hi every time? Try to start an awkward "catching up" conversation? My new strategy has been to find a new car to sit in when I get on so I don't bump into them. This has become easier as well because we're not on the same train home on Tues/Thurs when I have my night classes.

The other one is a bit tougher. I was with this ex the longest and in deep. And then we broke up and have since both moved on. However, we have a group of mutual friends, and have been trying to work around when we see them, like "Hey, you go to this party, I'll go to the next one" arrangement.  I don't think either one of us want to meet the other's new beau. But there is a birthday/housewarming coming up for one of them, and the date and time are set. Trying to work around this one is going to be especially hard, which is why I haven't even reached out yet. Might just have to bite the bullet. I mean, we're all grown ups right? Right.

Returning Phone Calls

About two weeks ago I decided to try to reach out to a bunch of friends who I haven't spoken to in awhile, besides sending a "Merry Christmas!" or "Happy New Year!" text. I'm not that great at keeping in touch, but I'm trying to make more of an effort, especially since I really do care and want to know how they're doing. Now, I understand in this technology based world of ours, phone calls have become a scarcity, unless you're trying to book an appointment or calling customer service when you have an issue. I understand that you can't always answer because you're busy. And I get that some people just hate talking on the phone. But not ONE of them called back. One texted back 3 days later, saying that she couldn't make plans to hang out because she was "going away soon." When I asked where/when/etc, she never responded. Two others emailed back a few days ago, one saying that she thought something was wrong when I called because no one ever calls anymore. But I never heard back from the others, and that makes me super sad.

Are You Listening?

I get really mad when people ask what's up or how am I, and I try to tell them and they interrupt me or respond with something either about themselves or completely unrelated. If they have something on their mind or want to talk, that's fine, but then I'd rather they just not ask about me then. I have no problem just listening, but if you ask me about me and I try to tell you, I'd like to at least feel like you're paying attention to what I'm saying.

Entertainment Costs

I know that as cost of living goes up, entertainment costs must rise to the occasion as well, but it's annoying. First there was cable, which I just recently cut off. And then Netflix changed their plans and rates, and since then I've dropped the plan that allows me to get DVDs, because hello, streaming. But now it's getting in the way of my reading. I've always liked reading physical books as opposed to e-books; something about the smell and the feel of the pages, and being able to ear-mark whenever I want to. I know I can still get books free at the library, but I can't ear-mark those, and I also like having a modest personal collection of books for my bookshelf. Enter Paperback Swap. I've been a member of this free online book swapping website called Paperback Swap since 2011. Yesterday I got an email saying that it will no longer be free starting Feb. 15; a standard membership will be $20, limited membership $12, and an "a la carte" option. I had 5 credits (which means I could request 5 books for free, until Feb. 15) so I ordered my free books because I refuse to pay for them later. I guess I'll be sticking to the library.

Spending Freeze

After the black hole of spending that was December AND January, I've decided to put the brakes on spending for February. Basically, no purchases other than necessities. I almost crash and burned yesterday because there was this crossbody bag on sale at Nomorerack for only $20, but I stayed strong. I already got Vday stuff and presents for my mom's birthday, so I should be good for the rest of the month. I'm really happy it's a short month though, I already started a wishlist for March 1st!

Scheduling

The only thing I might break the freeze for is a planner. It's taken me literally two months, but I finally found one I like, and I'm going to need it especially to keep track of assignments for the grad classes I'm taking. I also want to start meal planning again, because this whole Mac n Cheese To Go cups every Tues/Thurs kinda sucks. Having a calendar and planner has always kept me in check, and now that I feel like I have zero time to do anything, hopefully it will help.

I don't like ending on an odd number, but that's all I got today. Linking up with Joey and Vanessa.

Pet Peeves

So I haven't been participating in #Blogtober14, but this prompt was right up my alley today, so I'm sharing 10 Pet Peeves:

+ slow walkers. Oh, and people who randomly stop walking in the middle of the sidewalk. Keep it moving people.

+ people who don't/take forever to respond to texts. Especially if I can see them posting all over social media.

+ people who chew with their mouth open. Gross.

+ voicemail

+ paper jams

+ people who ask for your advice, don't take it, and continue to make the same mistake over and over and then whine about it even though I may be guilty of this from time to time

+ slow internet connections #firstworldproblems

+ The Stomper in the apartment above me. I can literally hear every step she takes.

+ loud drunk assholes, but particularly on the train. Handle your liquor fools.

+ people touching me excessively/for no reason and close talkers. Get out of my space. Respect the bubble.

What are some of your biggest pet peeves? 

Weekend Updates

Good morning friends! This was the first weekend in a while with no set plans, which was awesome. However, it still turned out to be kind of busy. 

Friday, my friend came out with RJ and I and we watched the Giants beat the Jets 35-24. Ahhhh football (pre-) season has begun! I was a little disappointed we couldn't attend the game, but watching at a bar when every single person around you is either a Giants or Jets fan was pretty intense!

Saturday morning I woke up early to get some laundry done before I met up with my mom in NYC. I was all proud of myself- coffee, book, and detergent in hand, I headed over to the laundromat. Throw my clothes into one of those triple loaders, and dive into my book. 20 minutes later I go to check on it, and it's on final spin. So I find a seat a little closer and wait some more. 10 minutes go by, and it's still spinning, though the "final spin" light has gone off. Hmm... something isn't right. I try the handle, but as it's still running, it's obviously locked. I find the manager and tell her, but she says wait a few minutes, "you'll hear it click when it's ready." I wait 10 more minutes... still spinning.  "Lady, it's not working." So she comes over and attempts the handle, and then unplugs the machine and plugs it back in. It starts spinning again. 

Her response? "Awww shiiiiiiit." 

This is NOT what I want to hear. I have to meet my mom. This wouldn't be too bad, except she somehow lost her phone, and we're supposed to meet at a Starbucks in NYC. So there's no way to reach her; I have to be there. At this rate, I don't see how I can even dry my clothes and make it in time. The manager re-runs the machine, hoping that time time, at the end of the cycle it will click open. Another 20 minutes go by. It doesn't click open. "Well, we're going to have to call the mechanic." A MECHANIC?! Are you kidding me??! I go outside and call RJ, seething. When I come back in, she says that the mechanic won't be able to come until that night. I told her that I (obviously) couldn't wait there all day, that I wanted my money back, and I want them to dry and fold it because it was their fault. I left my name and number and told her to call me when it was ready. ::end rant::

I met my mom only 30 min later, and Starbucks was quickly thrown out the window after I told her what happened. We got some giant beers and headed to Brooklyn Bridge Park. I had never been there before, but she had and wanted to show me everything. We wound up sitting by a pop up pool that was also set up like a beach with a tiki bar. The whole place was empty, so we were able to have our giant beers in peace. 
Then we took a stroll around the park before heading home. 

The only carousel left standing after Hurricane Sandy because it is enclosed

like mother, like daughter

under the bridge

Sunday I got a chance to sleep in. RJ packed and we headed out to brunch. Later that afternoon, RJ's parents took me to pick up my laundry and then we drove RJ the 45 min home. They had recently gone to Hershey Park, and got me this awesome over-sized mug and Krackel! I freakin love Krackel, and they don't sell it in stores anymore; you can only get the fun size ones in the Hershey mixed bags. I was so excited. 

I ended the night with pizza, beer, and True Blood. Can I just say again how freakin happy I am that this show is OVVEERRRR??! Seriously. Anyway... 

How was your weekend?

Brain Dump Confessions

+My coworker is constantly on personal phone calls... in Polish. It wouldn't be as bad if I could at least eavesdrop, but no. Headphones it is.

+Another coworker was cutting her nails at her desk. This seriously grossed me out. I called her out on it, and she was all "No, just the one because it broke!" Bitch I heard you. cut. all. of. them. ICK.

+I get irrationally nervous when there is a long line behind me and the people are rushing me to place my order. I literally repeat what I want the entire time I'm in line so I don't mess up when I get to the counter.

+This might be due to the fact that when I was in Philly at Pat's ordering a cheesesteak for the first time. I literally got yelled at for not ordering correctly. In front of a large group of people. I was absolutely mortified.

legit sign at Pat's

+When people link up and the post has nothing to do with the link up, I also get irrationally mad.

+See also when they link up their entire blog and not just the one post.

+Linking up a playlist makes me insanely excited.

+So does finding new music.

+I am throwing my first surprise party tomorrow and I'm kind of nervous it won't turn out as awesome as I hope because the Birthday Boy (RJ) will already be at the venue... and his friends are coming later. Like, 2-ish hours later. And I can't think of a way to stop him from going to the venue (bar) because he gets into my town (via train) before I get off work, and doesn't have keys to my place, so what else is he supposed to do?

+I made brownies tonight, for him, but they are also my favorite and smelling them and seeing them and not being able to have even one for at least 2 days (because I have no time to make them tomorrow) is somewhat torturous.

What are you confessing today? Link up with Kathy!