COVID Confessions

Alternate title: "Confessions in the Time of COVID." 

I wake up earlier and do more actual work than I did when I went to the office everyday. 

I drink more coffee than I did in the "Before." I guess because I'm waking up earlier? Prior to working remotely, I would have one cup in my travel mug every day. I'm up to 3 cups between 7:30-12:30. 

Relatedly, I warm up my coffee in the microwave at least 10 times every day. 

I'm at a 2-square ration for TP because I'm afraid of running out, since we can't seem to find it ANYWHERE! (And seriously, wth is up with that?!)

This is my most recent grocery list...

I can't believe nearly 3 weeks ago Blue and I were like "Eh, maaaaaybe we shouldn't go out for St. Patty's Day?" and that was the biggest question mark/concern. 

I have never been happier to not have kids and have had this thought every.single.day, and would totally add that to a gratitude list daily if I kept one. File that under "good for you, not for me" as Steph would say. #notsorry

Even though I have a desk in my bedroom, I've moved my work from home space to my dining room table because it's kind of creepy having clients seeing my bed when I'm on a video call. 

I've never considered myself a germaphobe before but now I'm like "what if the warehouse person or mail carrier is infected?" 

I have a new across-the hall neighbor! I wasn't sure at first, but I saw a new car parked in the spot designated to that apt. Anyway, that's not the confession- this is: I waited until the car left (missed seeing if the person was male or female, darn it) and sneaked in using a key the old neighbor/my friend Raven gave me when she had to go out of town and wanted me to feed and play with her cat. I didn't go all the way in, but I peeked and saw a new TV, couch, and some kitchen stuff, and now I need to meet this person! 

How's that for my first time in a loooong time confessing?! 

Need to get something off your chest? Follow along and share with Beth! 

Things I'm Trying

It's Wednesday and that means it's time to confess! We all have things we could "fix" or improve in our lives. Call them goals or making better choices or creating habits, but I'm trying to change some things up in here. Nothing too crazy or Earth shattering, but I need to start somewhere. Here are some things I'm currently working on.


- Getting to work early
Yes, this should be a no-brainer. But when your boss regularly comes in late, you figure you might as well too, right? Just a few more minutes of sweet slumber and a later train won't hurt anyone. No one will even know! Wrong. Apparently the new Big Boss is a stickler about time, and has actually been scanning the office to see who arrived when. I would think someone in his position would have more important things to do than watch the clock, but no. He called a meeting with his direct reports to discuss the issue, who then met with us. Oddly enough, I'm the only one who now arrives on time/early. Sigh.

what my floor looks like when I arrive daily.
Please note all the closed doors. The lights aren't even on!

- Creating a morning/night beauty routine
On the first day of Operation Get To Work On Time, I got up with enough time to actually do the full face cleanse, tone, moisturize, makeup thing. My initial thought was Seriously? People do this twice  day?! I haven't gotten up early enough since. Obviously, this is still a work in process.

- Not posting on days when I don't have/make time to respond to comments
Last week I made the mistake of posting here every single day, on a week that including three popular linkups. Bad idea, especially when a work project was due by Friday afternoon, leaving no time or energy to comment back properly. If you still haven't received a response, my apologies, I'm getting there!

- Purging the closet
I'm getting sick of just writing this, but it's a big undertaking, since I don't think I've ever done a full purge before. Currently the "unwanteds" of my closet sit in bags around my apartment- this pile for ThredUp, this one for Plato's Closet, another for donation, oh this this other pile of clothes that I need to launder before sending to those places. My issue is that some of the stuff is nice and I would like to get back as much as possible for the items. I've attempted to just let it go, but I can't shake the feeling that my stuff is worth something and why would I throw out free money?

- Getting back into reading
I fell off the tracks after reading 5 books in one month. I know this is nothing compared to some, but I'm a slow reader, and usually only get through about 3 a month. It was like I had a book hangover, and I needed a break. But I'm having a hard time getting back into the habit. Has this ever happened to you? How do you get past it?

What are some things you're working on?

Linking up with Nadine and Kathy!

Confessions

I wasn't actually planning on posting today but once I started thinking about it, I realized I had quite a few thangs to 'fess up to. Or maybe just going-ons, but humor me, ok? 

- I went out to buy a birthday card last night and accidentally bought shoes. Actually, two pairs of shoes. They're so cute though! #buyalltheshoes

- I've all but stopped buying heels/pumps, but these are low enough to walk in and surprisingly comfortable. And the side cutout makes them perfect for spring/warmer weather. 

- I also found a present for someone while in the checkout line, and love it SO much. It was misplaced and had an initial on it, and I wanted one for myself but... lines. Plus it was at TJ Maxx, so who knows if they even had one with my initial. 

- I'm a good gift giver, and it's something I pride myself on. I wish I could share the gift box I put together last night, but I'm pretty sure the person reads my blog. 

- I've been seeing a lot of posts lately with people saying they have a lot of drafts in their blog post folder, with "a lot" being like, 20. I have 85. Eighty-freakin-five. A lot of them are music posts that I'll likely delete because apparently no one likes my music posts, but I had a lot of fun finding the songs for them. 

- I saw Batman vs. Superman on opening night. I know Erin doesn't agree, but I thought it was really good! I loved Wonder Woman. I agree that Batman's voice changer sucked. And Ben Affleck (Batfleck) is JACKED!  

- Since Nadine introduced me to Two Dots, I've become minorly OBSESSED. I was never into Candy Crush, but you lose lives in this game too, and I check constantly to see when/if I have more lives even though I know it takes 20 minutes. 

- Since Easter was on Sunday, I wasn't able to watch TWD, and then had to stay off all social media so I wouldn't see any spoilers. I didn't realize how much time I actually spent looking at social media until Monday. 

- Speaking of Easter, I had given up Coke for Lent since I was having a can a day. The last week I was craving it something awful, but now that I can have it again, I don't really want it. #breakthehabit

- The only debt I carry is student loan debt, and I am ECSTATIC that I can say I paid off two loans in full this week. There's a lot more to go but these are the first two, and I really could not be happier to finally feel like I'm making a dent in them. 

What are you confessing today? 

Share it with Nadine and Kathy! 

Easter Confessions

No preamble, just a few confessions!

I hate Cadbury Creme eggs, jelly beans, Peeps... basically any and all Easter/Spring related candy.

We used to get Good Friday off at work, but last year they made it a "Floating Holiday." I can't take off now because 10 other people in my dept (of 20) already claimed it. I can assure you nothing will be getting done that day.

Blue's family calls Easter "Eat-ster" because that is all they do the entire day. Her aunt makes a HUGE feast and they play games and it's glorious. I'm super sad that I won't get to participate this year because my mom wants me all to herself. I hope Blue saves me some leftovers!

I still thought it was really funny when her aunt made the "kids" do an Easter egg hunt last year. These "kids" are almost in their 20's now, but the littlest cousin is 10, so she still makes them do it. It's pretty hilarious, especially since she's not so great at "hiding" them.

The only downside is that I can no longer steal the candy (I still like chocolate!).

The Easter bunny failed to make it to my house every single year growing up. I would leave carrots out and everything and somehow he skipped me! But my mom always set up a scavenger hunt for me and would laugh take pictures of me doing ridiculous things like hop on one foot while singing "Little Bunny Foo Foo" to get my next clue.

I don't miss being forced into poufy ugly dresses.

those sleeves though...

I don't remember the last time I dyed Easter eggs, and I don't remember ever liking it. Wasting eggs never really appealed to me. I'd rather eat them. Preferably scrambled, with ketchup.

I also don't remember every being afraid of the Easter bunny, but I think it's pretty hilarious when little kids have a shitfit taking picture with him at the mall.

How creepy is this "Bunny" though?!

What are you confessing today? 

Linking up with Nadine and Kathy!

Confessions- The First of March

It's Wednesday and on Wednesdays we confess, so let's get right to it, shall we? I'm keeping it short this round because sometimes 10 confessions is too much, and I shared a bunch yesterday. Anyway... confessions! 

I ate meat the last two Fridays. The first time, we were originally supposed to go for pizza before a concert but weren't hungry at the time, so we waited until we got inside and the only vendor that was even remotely close to out seats was "Chicken and Fries" so that's what we had. It was damn good too. And last Friday I felt like death and the thought of more pizza seemed nauseating, so we got the ultimate (delivery) comfort food- Chinese. I got shrimp and broccoli, but then had Wonton soup. Sorry Jesus. 

I didn't participate in #nationalmargaritaday because I don't like margaritas of any kind. I've tried slushy and uh, non-slushy, and it's just not my thing. I've learned (through extensive research) that tequila and I are not friends. I'll stick to my Kentucky Mules and whiskey, thanks.

It took me a few minutes to figure out how to spell "whiskey" because it can be spelled without the "e" and still be correct. Why is the English language so confusing sometimes? No wonder foreigners don't like it.

Blue and I have a shared Google calendar to stay abreast of each other's appointments/girls nights out/dates. But sometimes we just don't want to go to certain events. For instance, I was invited to a bridal shower 45 min away with a bunch of people I didn't know (besides the bride) and/or didn't like, so I declined, making up some excuse. We add these on the calendar as "No Social Media" days so we won't get caught.

Blue reads my blog on the regular, which I love. I could bet any amount of money that she is chuckling at "abreast" above. I'm curious- does your significant other read your blog? How do you feel about it?

Confessions: Work, Food, and Money

It's Wednesday which means it's time to confess with Nadine and Kathy, so let's get right to it!

Friday was my boss's last day and I have no idea what will become of my position since I'm the only person in my "department" (my coworker is on short term disability). And I'm freaking the eff out.

Someone asked me for a one line description of my job and I had no idea what to tell him. My job responsibilities have changed so much in the last year that I legit don't even know what I do anymore.

Like I mentioned, my coworker is on short term disability. I've been getting stuck doing all the work. While I understand that she's not well, I'm starting to get pissed off. But then I feel bad for getting mad. #viciouscycle

I was way more excited about the Superbowl than Valentine's Day. Why? Because all the food! Plus I kinda feel like there are too many expectations that come with Valentine's Day, and everything is overpriced, and I can't get a decent meal anywhere without making reservations a year in advance.

I posted about the cheese bombs I was going to make for the Superbowl on Friday, but I didn't get a chance to make them because we had too much food already.

You know what's a great way to not spend money? Lose your debit card. I mean, I wouldn't suggest it, but man, is it effective! Somehow I misplaced it after going grocery shopping on Saturday, and didn't notice until I was on my way to work Monday morning. Obviously I wasn't watching my wallet very well. #walletwatch

You know what's really not a good way to save money? Having a  new Dunkin Donuts open up in your train station. I'm weak in the morning. And 50 points for a breakfast sandwich? Done and done.

Speaking of food, remember when I said I was going to try to only spend $60 on groceries for the month? HAHAHA, that was funny. Groceries be more 'spensive than I thought. And I didn't factor in throwing a Superbowl party.

I totally forgot that I wasn't supposed to eat meat today (Catholics note: it's Ash Wednesday!) until Blue reminded me about an hour before lunchtime. And I almost decided to eat it anyway because it's spaghetti and meatballs day at work. But I refrained.

The fact that there were an odd number of confessions was bothering me, so I'm adding one. That kind of counts as a confession right? Does having an odd or not rounded number bother you too? Just me? Ok then.

What are you 'fessing up to?

Brain Dump Confessions

It's Wednesday and we all know what that means! Here's what I'm 'fessin up to this week:

I love ordering stuff online. In fact, I don't remember the last time I went shopping, especially for clothes, in a brick and mortar store. I love coming home and finding presents to myself. Plus, I almost always find better deals online.

My only real drawback is that when I really really want something and finally pull the trigger on ordering it, and get that email telling me my order has shipped, I start tracking it like a crazy person, checking multiple times per day.

I hate when I place a fairly large order and the one thing that I really really wanted is suddenly out of stock and not in my package. Especially when I still get charged for it.

I think it's pretty ridiculous (not to mention rude) when you run out to get someone a birthday present when they are about to kickoff their birthday gathering. Particularly if you're the husband/kid. Hello? This is not a surprise. It comes annually. Get your shit together.

Remember when Lauren confessed that she didn't wash her hair until like, the third or fourth day? That's me on a regular basis. And you know back in the day when a girl's excuse to not hang out was "sorry, I gotta do my hair..."? That's real life for me. When I straighten my hair, it takes about two hours because it's thick. So I only do it like once a week. The rest of the time it's either up or wavy.

Sidenote confession: When I was little, my mom would straighten my hair regularly. As in, I never rocked my natural waves until I was a Junior in high school. I mean, I never had to do my own hair! I'd sit and watch TV while she went to work on it, which she loved and I didn't mind. I miss those days now.

Someone stole my Wanderlust Wednesday post. Being the vocal person I am, I wrote back to the person on their post. But I also tweeted about it, because I was pretty offended. I'm not a "big-time" blogger, and I completely understand gaining ideas and inspiration from other blogs for your posts (hello, I've definitely done it). But give credit where credit is due. And try to be original. As in, don't use my EXACT words in your post. Alyssa knows what I mean. Not cool, dude.

It's really weird when you post a picture or something online, and someone you used to date for like 2 minutes likes it. Especially when you completely forgot that they were following you.

I always find it super weird when I see parents/adult-aged family members kissing kids on the lips. I'm not sure why. I just always reserved kisses on the lips for significant others.

It bothers me when all of Blogland goes on and on about some amazing product/program/book/etc and then it dies down but then the "general public" catches on to it. Like, I've been seeing this for months and you're just now getting a clue? Also, I'm already over it. Just me? Ok then.

What are you confessing? 

Last Confessions of 2015

Hi friends! I have no long preamble for you today, all I have are a few confessions that have been churning in my mind for the last few days. So let's get right to it:

- I forgot to share what I got for Christmas yesterday! I'm not going to list all the cool stuff I got.  Let's just say someone thought I was a very good girl this year. I will say that my favorite (and most thoughtful) present was my Easy Bake Oven. I know, I know... I'm not a little kid. But I had mentioned to Blue that one of the only things I requested, REALLY wanted, and never got from "Santa" or my mom was an Easy Bake Oven. So she (Blue) got me one!

- I'm so happy Christmas is over. Really. I just wish that I could take down my little Christmas tree, but I can't because my mom wants to "celebrate" on Three Kings Day (Jan 6). Which actually falls on a Wednesday, so I don't know which weekend she'll pick to actually be together, and that causes me minor anxiety.

- Christmas Day was not all sunshine and rainbows. I mean it mostly was, at least for me, because I was with the only person I wanted to be with, but there was some family dramz. It acted as a reminder for me, however, that no family is perfect. Every family has issues/problems. Maybe mine takes a different form, but no family is spared. And this was one reminder that I definitely needed.

- It really bothers me when people don't put thought into the gifts they give to others, especially family members. I always try to give things that would be meaningful to the recipient, even if I don't know them well, but getting something that you think is a re-gift or something they had laying around, well, that's not a very good feeling. And it's worse for me when I see this happen to others that I care about.

- One of my best friends moved away the day after Christmas. This person is the reason I moved to my current apartment. She lived (literally) across the street. I mean, I could watch their TV (because it was gigantic) from my back deck. She had been talking about moving for a little while because the space was cramped between her, her bf, and their one year old, but I was kind of hoping they wouldn't. I liked that we could stop by whenever we wanted, ask for milk, or help when necessary. I liked seeing their cars come and go, and the glow from their windows. I didn't think it would bother me much, but it does. They only moved two towns over, but it's just not the same.

-I was really surprised that I didn't get Christmas calls/texts from certain people. like my best friend in Puerto Rico. I called her on Christmas, and though I never expect her to answer, it's odd that I STILL haven't gotten at least a call back. The same goes for some friends.I'm wondering if I hadn't sent them a text in prior holidays, would they have sent me one? It seems unlikely now, since this is the first where I didn't at least text first, and that is disappointing.

- I tried eggnog for the first time on Christmas Eve. It's so thick! I didn't hate it, but it wouldn't be my first choice when reaching into the fridge either.


Hmm... I think that's all I got to get off my chest til the new year. What are you confessing? 

Confession: A Delayed Christmas

I always have a hard time when it comes to "The Holidays."  I don't really have any "grand" family memories of Thanksgiving, or Christmas for that matter. I know that at one point I did experience them; there are pics of me as a toddler with my grandma cooking, my father, Christmas trees and presents, etc. etc., but I don't remember this. My dad left when I was little, my grandma passed away the summer before my sophomore year in college, and my grandfather lived in Puerto Rico, which is ridiculously expensive to get to during any holiday season,... not to mention we never really did holidays with him.What I remember of childhood Christmases is a lot of Chinese food and movie theater marathons.

I guess my issues with the holiday started when I was a Sophomore in college, and I thought I had met "The One." He wanted to make me part of his family seemingly immediately. We had started "officially" dating in January, so I didn't have to deal with any of the holiday split-ups/issues for nearly a year. And I had already met almost all of his family, and gone on vacation with his mom and step-dad.

So, after a lot of pressure on his side, I decided that I'd do Thanksgiving his family, and Christmas with mine. Except my "family" consisted of just my mom.   I suppose I followed through with this plan, at least until Christmas morning. At the time, I was living in an off-campus apartment which I shared with a bunch of graduate students who had gone home for the holidays. My mom was supposed to come up and take me home, which was her idea, even though I could've just taken the bus. Except she never came, or called, or texted, or anything else. She just didn't show up.

For a second I was nervous that something had happened to her on the way over, but then I realized that she had done this on purpose: we had gotten into a fight about who even knows what, so she was just going to leave me alone on Christmas Eve/Day. Maybe she was also pissed that I didn't spend Thanksgiving with her? I have no idea. All I know was that my ex was texting me on Christmas morning, asking what time my mom was coming, and other details, and then hours later she wasn't there (which I regrettably admitted to him), and then he came and got me and I spent it with his family. Don't get me wrong, I really, really liked his family, but I was kinda like... what the Hell, Mom?

I never really got an answer to this question, no matter how many times I asked. She was ignored it. I figured she didn't come because of a fight, and I didn't want to re-hash the fight or talk about it. About a month or so later it was done, and we were back to normal. In the following years, I spent Christmas either swapping Thanksgiving and Christmas with C's family (the other serious ex), at the cemetery where my grandmother was buried, or at a restaurant, and last year, when she came to my apartment and we got into a huge fight (again) and wound up not even speaking for hours on end.

Which brings us to this year. I called and texted to figure out what we were going to do, and she responded that in normal (insert our last name here) fashion, we should "celebrate" it later, on Three Kings Day. I should mention one other thing about my mom- she always thought holidays were fake, and that you should do thing for each other year-round. So, this could be her avoiding the "family holiday" too. But I never agreed with this line of thinking-- not that it shouldn't be celebrated year-round, but that doing things on or for the holiday was "fake."

The other thing that's hard to explain to others is that I would rather be alone in such cases. Christmas is a family holiday, therefore people should be with their families. And if their family wants to hold grudges, well, fine. As much as I may appreciate you "taking me in" for such a  holiday, that's not what I want. I'm not some "little orphan Dani." I've gotten to the point where if I can't be with my family because of whatever dramz we have, I'd rather be alone. And no one seems to get that.

However, the silver lining is that I'll be with Blue's family this year. And I will see and celebrate with my mom, even if it is later, so I'm not mad about it. I'm actually excited about both celebrations! Maybe this will be different, eh? Here's hoping!


What are you confessing today? Any Christmas confessions to share? Link up below! 

**I'll be taking a little break until next week, so I hope everyone has a very Happy Holiday with their loved ones!**

Confessions: Christmas Things I Tolerate

First of all, I confess that I haven't checked emails in a few days, so if you left a comment and haven't heard back from me, I'm sorry! But I'm going through them today!

I also confess that I was overwhelmed and touched by all of your birthday wishes- thank you! 

Now on to today's Christmas confessions... 

I'm not a huge fan of Christmas. Mostly, I find a lot of the things about it annoying, but part of it is also because it's a big family holiday and I don't have a lot of family, and the family I do have isn't all that close. I'd say this has been more true in recent years, but I think I've always felt this way, to a lesser degree. Anyway, here are some other Christmas confessions. 

I don't like:
- Christmas carolers because they're annoying.
- Black Friday because it's a madhouse and leads to absolutely ridiculous behavior like trampling over people just to get inside a freakin Walmart.
- putting up lights
- white Christmas trees
- candy canes in any flavor other than spearmint

I don't like Christmas music. At All. At any time, but especially any time before Thanksgiving. The other night I was asked what my favorite Christmas Carol was, and I had to think long and hard before I said "Dominick the Donkey." A few others I tolerate: 

Songs:
Shake Up Christmas- Train
All I Want For Christmas- Mariah Carey
Feliz Navidad- Jose Feliciano
Dominic the Donkey- Lou Monte
The 12 Pains of Christmas (so funny)

You know what kills me? The Christmas Shoes song by NewSong. I'm not a bigger crier, but seriously only listen to this with tissues nearby.

I'm not a total Grinch. I do like:
- driving around seeing all the other houses lit up
- finding the perfect present
- Cyber Monday/getting said perfect present at a great price
- seeing the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center
- Collecting Christmas ornaments from wherever I go on vacation. Does that count as a tradition?

Food/Drinks: 
pizzelles
mulled wine
DD mint hot chocolate
merry Manhattan

Movies: 
Elf
Love Actually
The Holiday
Bad Santa
A Christmas Story

Where do you fall? Are you a huge Christmas lover? Or do you just tolerate the season? Linking up with the lovely ladies below! 

*** Shameless plug: part of a linkup is to find other bloggers, right? A little birdie told me that one of my posts (this one) was nominated for a blog award over HERE. And I'm a Finalist! I would love it if you would vote for me, but even if you don't, I was happy to see some of my very favorite fellow bloggers nominated as well! Check out the link to vote and find some new awesome blogs!***

Things I Wouldn't Say I'm Thankful For

Do you have a family tradition at Thanksgiving where you go around the table and say one or two things you're grateful for each year? You always hear the same things, like family, friends, health, etc. While I agree that I'm also grateful for these things, there are certain things that I'm grateful for that I wouldn't exactly announce at the family dinner table.

1. *Those* jeans, that make my butt look great, and my rattiest, most comfortable sweats.

2. Having my own apt where I can do whatever I want uninterrupted and don't have to share the remote, snacks, my blanket/bed, and I can set the temperature at whatever I please.

3. Strong wifi signal, and stronger coffee.
4. Modern technology,  particularly Uber.

5. Modern medicine, especially Midol. 

6. Cancelled plans when I'm really tired, or it's really cold outside.

7. Any day I don't have to set an alarm clock to wake up.

8. Paid sick time regardless of whether I'm sick or not.

9. Any time I go out drinking and don't wake up with a hangover. 

10. Great sex.

What are some things you're grateful for that you wouldn't want to share with your whole family?

Have a happy Thanksgiving!