I mentioned that we celebrated my girlfriend's
bachelorette party a few weeks ago. She and her fiance don't currently live together, so those of us who do (everyone else there) had some advice for her. Here are some things we came up with:
- Own more than one TV
This has saved many a fight. It may seem like a small thing, but it's really not. I'm all for sharing and snuggling and watching TV together, but sometimes you just need your shows- whether it's Dog Bounty Hunter or Real Housewives of [insert city of choice here] and he needs his video games.
- Decide on who is doing what chores before moving in.
Make a chart if you have to. Get a cleaning lady if it helps. But sort this out first!
Don't want to wind up cleaning up after him all the time (or vice versa)? Do you abhor washing dishes? Clearly define what chores will be done by whom.
- Keep Date Nights
Things can get really comfortable when you live with the one you love. You may not always feel like going out, because well, the couch is so comfy, and why not just watch whatever's on? NO! Date nights are important to keep yourselves from getting in a rut. Go out by yourselves, go out with friends- just get out! Staying in may seem like bliss in the beginning, but its also fun to get all dolled up and go out once in a while too!
- Don't Forget About Your Girlfriends
We're not in high school (or college, for some) anymore. Ignoring your girlfriends when you move in with your partner is not acceptable. Plus, you spend all the time with an XY... you may be surprised how badly you need a solid girls' night out! (and of course there's always the opportunity to compare notes, if you're into that sort of thing!) And don't forget it's not always about you- your girlfriends probably miss hanging out with you whenever they want like before you started living with someone!
- Give Each Other Time and Space
This.Is.Key. Living together is awesome at first- someone to have fun with who you actually enjoy a lot around all the time? It's almost like living with your college roommate (that you can choose) all over again! But, you still need your own space sometimes. To, you know, eat jelly covered crackers while standing in your undies in the kitchen (SATC anyone?!) or to sing extremely girly karaoke into your hairbrush without judgement. Not that I know anything about that...
- Communicate
I am still working on this one, but communication is very important. No one I know is a mind reader (but if you know someone, send them my way please!). Did you do something to piss him off? Did he do something way out of line? Do dirty dishes in the sink drive you mad (see #1)? Talk to each other! The issue will go away much quicker and less painfully if there are clear lines of communication. It may not always be easy, but it's definitely worth it.
- Compromise
Compromising is key in any relationship, regardless if you are living together or not. However, it is still important to note. You each have needs, and it's important that each of you have your needs met, at least some degree. (This is also where communication comes in.) Compromising keeps everyone happy, and that is important for a successful relationship.
Unfortunately, I have no cute GIF for this one. But I got a pic!
- Keep Having Sex... If You Were Doing That Before
If you are saving yourself for marriage well... good for you! However if you are not, and decide to live together, don't stop now! Once you get really comfortable with one another, and usually in marriage, sex is said to decline. This is not a good thing, for obvious reasons. Use whatever it takes to keep things alive in the bedroom and spice things up!
Here are two more resources for ya:
9 More Tips
From Man's POV: Men's Health
[I am not a professional anything, just sharing my two cents on what has worked for me...and what hasn't. Please use your own discretion!]
