Shit Men Say

I found this linkup last month, and I really loved it, so I decided to join in this time! These are some of the gems RJ says via FB statuses... enjoy! 

On Women:

My idea of the "perfect girl" likes zombies, horror movies, knows football, and would dress up as Catwoman while I dress up as Batman at our wedding. #foreveralone

If your significant other becomes fat, you should get fat too and kinda like...roll around with them. That'll show how much you really love them.

Best spot to pick up girls...the "Self Help" section at Barnes n Noble.....I'm terrible.

I think for Valentine's Day everybody should get a bottle of wine instead of a box of chocolates. Because everybody finishes the whole bottle, and leaves those few chocolates left that they don't like....just a thought.

On Food:

When my tax refund comes in, I''m going to buy nothing but double stuffed Oreos...and then I'm going to build a mountain with them.

...and I just ate an entire sleeve of Oreos. Good job RJ.

I just ate 4 bags of Famous Amos Chocolate Chip cookies just so I won't spend $30 on popcorn, soda and candy at the movies tonight. I think that's very, very smart of me.

I paid $6.99 for fried chicken for lunch. I only ate the skin. Just realized I paid $6.99 for chicken skin.

Philosophical Thoughts/Questions:

Do vampires poop?....No right?

Every time I go to New York City and use a public restroom there is graffiti in it. How many guys just carry a sharpie on them at all times?

The lesson of "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" is that nobody will like you until they need something from you.

I accidentally selected "French" as my language at the ATM , I was going to keep going and see if I knew any French but then I was like....what if it gave me euros?