I realized that I've never posted about this day before. In a historic event that I never thought I would forget, I remember quite little. I remember that I was a sophomore in high school, and sitting in Miss Mazzucca's (now married) Psychology class when the first plane hit. I remember her and several other teachers running into a neighboring classroom that was airing live coverage, but we were told to stay where we were. I remember thinking that it had to be an accident. And then I remember my mom coming to pick me up, and watching it on TV. I don't remember how I felt, other than scared. I don't remember what happened in the following days. And I remember the first time I was on the highway heading in the direction of NYC, and not seeing the towers hovering in front of me. I think that was when it finally hit me.
All the lives lost. How scared those people must have been. Last words spoken, last thoughts. The destruction. The firefighters and police who risked their lives trying to pull out remains for months.
All I've ever thought about this day in the last 10 years was sadness. But this morning, as C urged me out of bed to watch the memorial services and coverage on TV, he introduced me to a new way of thinking about it. He said "Sometimes, when I think about it all, I want to cry. But then I think about and focus on how we all came together, and helped each other, and were unified..."
So I got up and watched as they rang the bell for the first tower hit falling. And I began to ask the question that always confused me..."Why us? Why did they attacks us? What did we do to them?"
C is a high school history teacher. And historian. (Not in a boring or know-it-all way). So it makes me asking these seemingly obvious questions that I probably should know the answer to much easier to ask. And it led to a discussion which basically led me to believe that really, in a simplistic way, it goes back to Hitler. Here's why:
Going on the belief that the terrorists were religious fanatics, they were pissed that Israel was created, because thousands of years ago, they fought for that land and it was theirs. So we helped take that land to create Israel for the Jewish people. Which again, made me ask why would we do that. During WWII, Hitler wanted to create a Jew-less race. So he performed mass genocide. And then America felt bad and wanted to help The Jewish people create a land where they could be free, and Jerusalem was the holiest place, so that's where it would be. Except, that land wasn't free- we took it from the Muslims. So they were super pissed. So they attacked what they could, and then 60 some odd years later, finally came directly for us.
At least, that's how I see it, and can make any sort of sense out of something so senseless. And just to be clear, in no way am I saying what they did is even remotely acceptable. I was just trying to answer why.
A picture my friend who works near the memorial took last week, in the rain. Eerie.
To all those who lost someone, we pray for you.
For all those who have served this country, we thank you.
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